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gotta-winwin · 16 hours ago

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(🎄) ... mirth and good cheer - xmas special

⭐ starring: vernon

🎄preview: vernon used to fly back to new york every christmas for one reason only: his childhood best friend. christmas used to be his and y/n’s thing, until he got seemingly too busy to ever return. now, as y/n departs to korea for the first time, she can’t help but wonder if her and vernon would ever cross paths again. vernon, unbeknownst to her, has been wondering the exact same thing. as the boys set up their christmas tree in their dorm, he does his best to ignore how hints of y/n still seemed to linger throughout the holiday air.

tw/cw: idol!vernon x nonidol!reader, childhood friends to lovers, estranged friends, slight miscommunication, fluff, slight angst, best christmas romcom vibes, features svt members, stubborn!reader, equallystubborn!vernon, use of y/n, flips between past and present day

☁️ masterlist & a/n: dropping a vernon x reader fic for our xmas special! doesn't vernon just scream childhood bestie to lover (੭˃ᴗ˂)੭ merry christmas my loves!

11 DAYS FROM CHRISTMAS 2024:

“That’s not how it’s supposed to work.” Mingyu slapped Vernon’s hand away from the tree they were decorating. “It’s supposed to be symmetrical, not whatever you’re doing.”

Vernon had to admit he wasn’t really paying attention. Their dorm auntie, the one who came around once a week to clean up the place, had baked them gingerbread men as a Christmas gift, and the smell felt like it had seeped into the walls of their dorm. It was a nostalgic smell, one that took him back to his childhood, new york and-

“Vernon?” Mingyu waved a hand in front of his face. “Are you even listening right now?”

He blinked, brought back from his thoughts. “Sorry, hyung. What?”

Mingyu could only let out a deep sigh, moving to place the bauble where he intended it to be. “You’re like this every Christmas. If you miss her so much, why don’t you just fly back?”

Vernon didn’t really know why he wasn’t flying back. He certainly could be, they were off work for the holidays and a plane ticket back wasn’t hard to find. He would be doing himself a favor, putting himself out of misery and finally seeing his childhood best friend. The thing was, he wasn’t really sure if Y/N wanted to see him. He shrugged. “I don’t miss her.” It was a lie and everyone in the room knew it.

CHRISTMAS DAY 2003:

Everyone who knew either of them would say they were smart kids for their age. Both only five, they whispered secrets to each other like little middle schoolers would on the playground.

“My parents say I’m going to Korea.” Vernon whispered to Y/N as they watched a christmas movie. “Forever.” Vernon always had a dramatic, theatrical side to him, even as a child.

Y/N could only frown. “Forever? Why?” She couldn’t imagine her best friend moving anywhere without her. “Am I going too?”

Vernon mirrored her frown on his own face. “I don’t know.” Sensing her sadness, he reached over and gave her a hug. “I’ll visit every year.” He promised.

“Every christmas.” Y/N insisted. She had always loved christmas above all else. “So we can watch movies again.”

Vernon agreed. “Okay. Every christmas. It’ll be like-” He paused, his young mind searching for the word. “Tradition.” He smiled at her, proud of the big word.

“Promise?” Y/N stared at him with wide eyes, reaching out with her pinky, extended. “Pinky promise me.”

Vernon grasped her pinky with his, shaking it firmly. He felt like a grown up, making one of those important business deals. “I promise.” Turning back to the screen, he let out a whine when he realized they had missed the best part. “We missed the part where the grinch screams down the mountain.” He complained. “I wanted to watch that part.”

Y/N got up, searching for the remote. “I’ll turn it back.”

Their dynamic never changed, even as they grew older. Vernon walked through life, Y/N following behind him with eyes filled with admiration, gently nudging the boy whenever he got distracted and began walking off-track. It stayed that way even with the distance, until one Christmas, Y/N woke up and Vernon had not returned.

CHRISTMAS DAY 2016:

“Mom?” Y/N called as she walked slowly down the stairs. She had returned home from university for the holidays and was confused when Vernon wasn’t at his usual spot to welcome her home. “Where’s Vernon?” He was usually back from Korea by now.

She didn’t like the look of pity her mother was giving her. “He didn’t tell you, honey? He’s been so busy with work, looks like he can’t fly back to join us for christmas this year.”

She felt her heart sink. She had been looking forward to spending time with him, even if it was just a couple of days out of the year. “Oh.” Of course, she understood. His work was important and she was sure the kpop industry couldn’t be easy. “That’s okay. I guess he must’ve been too busy to tell me.”

“What are you still doing here?” Joshua frowned at Vernon, who was lying down on his bed. “Shouldn’t you be in New York by now?” He was used to Vernon flying back to New York every christmas since they had met.

Vernon let out a huff. “Not going back this year, Josh.”

“Why not?” His friend pressed, confused. Vernon was usually so excited to go back. “Isn’t your friend going to be sad?”

“I can’t miss any more practice before our comeback. One Christmas should be fine.” Vernon explained, although his voice betrayed his disappointment. He had been looking forward to going back home, to be able to see Y/N again. He thought to himself that one christmas couldn’t hurt, right?

One Christmas missed turned into two. Then four. Then the timing felt too long and awkward and Vernon just never got the confidence to ever go back.

10 DAYS FROM CHRISTMAS 2024:

Korea was beautiful underneath a sheet of snow. Y/N had landed last night, having made up her mind to give living in Korea a try. Ever since graduating university and landing a job as a screenwriter, her friends and family had always urged her to try working for the Korean film scene.

She supposed she had always just avoided the country because of Vernon.

Her new job writing for some K-drama started after New Years. She thought maybe spending Christmas in a new place would bring back the mirth and good cheer the holiday used to give her, but she knew she was here for a different reason. A selfish and pathetic one. It burned her, that a part of her still wished to bump into Vernon after all these years. She knew he was doing well, SEVENTEEN was soaring through new heights and she had kept tabs on his ongoing success. It was the only way she kept going: his large internet presence sometimes made it feel like he never even left at all.

It hurt her the most that he could be doing so well without ever seeing her again.

Rounding the corner to the coffee shop, she rubbed her raw hands to regain heat. Ordering, she was relieved to find out she could still hold a conversation in Korean. It had gone rusty, the only people she ever used Korean with back home was Vernon’s dad and sister.

“Hello?” Someone from behind her tapped her on the shoulder. “Do I know you from somewhere?”

She was greeted by a slightly taller, blond man, sporting black rimmed glasses and holding a cup of iced coffee. Her mind short circuiting a bit from the sudden Korean, she paused, trying to recollect her thoughts before replying. “I don’t think so?”

The man’s eyes widened in sudden recognition. “You’re the girl in the Christmas photos!” He exclaimed with wonder, pointing at her as if they were long lost friends.

She squinted, giving him another look over. “Um..” She frowned, quite sure she didn’t know this man.

“Sorry.” He smiled sheepishly at her, extending his hand for a handshake. “That probably came out wrong. You’re Vernon’s friend from New York, right? I’ve seen you in the pictures on his wall.”

She blanched, all of a sudden feeling very light and disoriented. “I’m sorry.” She smiled politely, still racking her brain furiously for the guy’s name. “How do you know Vernon?”

“I’m Seungkwan.” He explained, dropping her hand. “Vernon’s bandmate.”

She let out a sound of realization. “Ah~” She knew who he was. “Seungkwan. Sorry, I didn’t expect you to have blonde hair now.”

Chuckling at her shy admission, Seungkwan felt strangely sad to see the girl in Korea. “When did you come to Korea?” He asked, knowing Vernon would lose his shit if he found out they had been in the same location for a while.

“I arrived just last night.”

He left out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. Okay, at least it hadn’t been very long. “You should come to our Christmas party.” He suggested, knowing Vernon would be there. “It’s being hosted at Coups hyung’s house this year, and everyone will be there.”

Y/N shook her head. “I wouldn’t want to make things weird.” She already caught on to the fact that Seungkwan knew all about her and Vernon’s falling out, or lack of one.

“You wouldn’t.” He insisted. “You must come. I’d hate to see you spend Christmas by yourself.”

It didn’t take much for Y/N to relent. She supposed a part of her had been looking for a chance to see Vernon again. “Alright. I’ll stop by and say a quick hi to everyone.”

Seungkwan’s smile was contagious as he beamed, grabbing a napkin to scribble Scoups’ address onto it and handing it to her. “It’s at 7pm on the 24th. Bring a present- something small.” He hurriedly gave her all the details as he left, mumbling about being late for a company meeting and how lovely it was to finally meet Vernon’s mystery girl.

Holding the napkin in her still freezing hand, Y/N felt utterly shipwrecked as she watched Seungkwan leave. Nine days was enough to prepare her heart to see Vernon again, right?

12 HOURS TILL CHRISTMAS 2024:

The frost in the air bit at Y/N’s face and neck as she quickly rang the doorbell to Seungcheol’s home. It was smaller than she had expected it to be, homey and comfortably situated in between two other larger houses.

“Y/N!” Seungkwan greeted her as he opened the door, tugging her in. “Oh, look at you. You must be freezing. Come in, come in.” Taking her coat from her and hanging it up, he beamed down at her. “I’m so glad you actually came.”

She bit back a smile, taking off her shoes. “I couldn’t turn down an invitation from Vernon’s friends.”

“Vernon’s in the living room with the others.” Seungkwan pointed down the hall, directing her over.

Y/N paused, loitering in the hallway between the door to the living room and the door to the kitchen. She felt strangely pulled towards the kitchen, knowing it’d be safe without the chance of a potential run-in with Vernon. Turning decisively towards the kitchen, she pretended not to hear Seungkwan’s deep sigh as he followed her in, knowing the boy was disappointed she had run away.

“It’s the girl from Vernon’s photos!” Hoshi sprung off the kitchen island to greet her, handing her a cup of mystery liquid.

She sniffed it before cringing away at the strong liquor scent. “That’s me.” She mumbled, shoulders sagging a little. “Does he really still have photos of me up?

Everyone in the kitchen nodded simultaneously. “It’s been on his wall since we were trainees.” Joshua informed her, his eyes holding a teasing glint. “Every time we move places he just puts it back up.”

Y/N didn’t really know what to do with that information. “Oh.” She replied, looking down in her cup, thinking. “I didn’t know that.”

Seungkwan let out a loud sigh once again. “You should go talk to him.”

She looked up.

“Please.” He added, his tone bordering on begging. “He’s been so grumpy. Especially during the holiday season. I got a pillow to the face for asking him a simple question yesterday.” He grumbled out, complaining about his moody roommate.

“What did you ask him?” Joshua asked, mildly curious.

Seungkwan shrugged. “Just if he was going back to New York.”

“Of course he threw a pillow at you.” Joshua rolled his eyes. “I’m surprised he didn’t just deck you, with how you were antagonizing him. You know very well he hasn’t gone back in years.”

Y/N watched the conversation silently, gagging quietly as she sipped the concoction Hoshi had handed her. She absorbed the information diligently, her eyes widening the more information she got on Vernon. Distance had turned him into a stranger - and now, well, she couldn’t really say she knew him at all. It was strange, having to admit someone she used to read like the back of her own hand was someone she now didn’t know at all.

“I’m going to the living room.” She decided, having had enough of the topic. If she kept listening to them talk about Vernon’s struggles and heartache about leaving her in New York one more minute she might find herself leaving for the night. Being in the same room with Vernon was just going to be awkward silence anyways. She knew he wasn’t brave enough to approach her. At least not tonight.

“Y/N!”

It was Mingyu and Wonwoo who greeted her from the couch, the two of them in the middle of an intense round of what looked to be Mariokart. They waved at her from their place, inviting her over to sit next to them. She was painfully aware of Vernon’s eyes staring at her from his place on the rug, fingers busy with a random puzzle that was lying out.

“Hi guys.” She smiled, sitting down, laughing when Mingyu pushed Wonwoo in an attempt to disrupt his driving.

“We didn’t know you were in Korea for Christmas!” Mingyu exclaimed. “Good thing Seungkwan bumped into you when he did and invited you over.”

She glanced at Vernon, who was doing his best to pretend like he wasn’t interested in their conversation. “Yeah. I moved here recently actually. Got a job writing for a TV show.”

Vernon’s eyes widened as he fixed his stare against the white rug.

“That’s cool.” Wonwoo smiled at Y/N, happy for her. “It’s good that you’re in Korea now.” He side eyed Vernon, frowning when he realized the boy hadn’t even spoken to Y/N. Nudging him with his foot, he gestured with his gaze. “Did you hear Vernon? Y/N got a job here.”

Vernon nodded stiffly before standing up. “I think Cheol hyung’s calling me, I’ll- I’ll go see what he wants.” And just like that he was gone, rushing out of the living room.

Wonwoo looked apologetically at Y/N. “I’m sorry about that.”

She shrugged, although her heart had cracked at the movement. “It’s okay.”

“Maybe now that you’re in Korea you guys can be friends again?” Mingyu suggested quietly, although a part of him wasn’t really certain about it. “Maybe?”

“Maybe.” She mumbled, taking another sip of her drink, feeling her face flush with heat. Anger or embarrassment, she couldn’t tell.

Maybe it was the alcohol speaking, but Y/N could feel her lips start to loosen the more she sat with Mingyu and Wonwoo, the party heading later into the night.

“You know I used to hate you guys.” She admitted all of a sudden, jolting both boys out of whatever conversation they were having.

“What?” Wonwoo frowned. “Why?”

“I hated Vernon for choosing you guys over me.” She lowered her eyes to the floor, feeling ashamed. “I know it’s childish of me, but hating you guys was how I dealt with it. I couldn’t bring myself to hate Vernon for his own actions.”

Mingyu looked at her with sad eyes as he patted her on the back gently. “I get that.” He reassured her, and she looked over at Wonwoo who was nodding as well.

“Do you still hate us?” Wonwoo asked, his voice calm.

She shook her head. “No. So I guess I’m just-” She paused. “Confused now.”

She hated how pitiful their looks made her feel as she sat there, nursing her half finished drink, mind spinning. Perhaps it was time to leave her silly childhood infatuation with Vernon in the past. It seemed like he had done so already anyways.

10 HOURS TILL CHRISTMAS 2024:

Vernon felt like throwing up the moment he saw Y/N enter the party. It felt like a vision, something he had conjured up within his own mind, until the others had greeted her and shattered his vision into reality.

“Talk to her, you moron.” Seungkwan nudged him. He had retreated from the living room into the kitchen the moment Y/N had sat down with the others on the couch. It physically stung to be in the same room as her, with all the knowledge that he had failed her and their once cherished friendship.

He took another gulp of his drink instead of answering Seungkwan.

“She clearly still loves you, y’know.” The boy continued upon hearing Vernon’s silence. “Or else she wouldn’t be here. And didn’t you always tell us Y/N would follow you around like a puppy whenever you were back home as kids?”

Screw Seungkwan and his amazing, awfully selective memory.

“So?” Vernon mumbled, rolling his shoulders back and feeling himself tense. “Things change.”

“You’ve changed.”

Vernon stared at his friend, thrown off by the sudden harsh truths. “What?”

“I don’t think she’s changed at all, Vernon.” Seungkwan observed. “It’s you who’s changed and you who has to fix it.” He paused. “Or at least explain it to her. Why you don’t want to be friends anymore.”

“I do want to be friends.” He stated plainly.

Seungkwan cut his eyes at him, exasperated. “Then tell her that. Jeez, bro. You suck at this.”

“We’re swapping presents now!” Seungcheol poked his head out from behind the hallway door. “Everyone in the living room!”

Vernon grabbed his present from the counter and headed in behind Seungkwan and Joshua, turning the box in his hands as he examined the poor wrapping job he had done last night. He had bought the most generic gift he could find, knowing it was going to be a random swap with the boys. The thing he hadn’t accounted for was Y/N showing up - and now it had thrown both his present and him off the game.

“Grab a pair.” Seungcheol announced loudly to everyone in the room, as there was a mad scramble for partners.

Vernon found himself standing alone in the midst of his bandmates all already coupled up, limbs tangled together in an awkward mad dash for a partner. His eyes met the only other person with a partner and he stifled a pained cry.

“It looks like you and Y/N are exchanging gifts this year, Non.” Seungkwan shot him a large grin from his spot next to Mingyu.

He knew this had to be preplanned - fate couldn’t be this cruel, right?

“Go on.” Seungkwan poked him in the back, urging him to approach Y/N, who suddenly seemed to be very captivated by a nearby portrait of Seungcheol and Kkmua, placed on the shelf next to her. She stared at it intensely, although Vernon knew she was still hyper-aware of the fact that he was slowly walking towards her. She had that funny way of darting her eyes towards the person she was avoiding while not facing in their direction.

“Y/N.” Her name sounded so foreign yet so familiar across his tongue as he spoke.

“Vernon.”

Her voice felt like coming home.

“Here.” He placed his gift in her hands as he took hers, turning it awkwardly in his hands. “What is it?” He asked, shaking it gently.

The corners of her mouth lifted. “Telling you would defeat the purpose of it being a surprise.”

“You said that last time too.”

He watched her stiffen at his words and he immediately regretted bringing up the past. They both knew last time had been years ago.

“I guess I did.” She replied stiffly, turning his gift in her hands. “What’s yours?”

“Thought you liked your presents to be a surprise?” He recalled, remembering how she used to whine that he must wrap her presents, when the teenage him had insisted that just putting it in a bag would be fine.

“I do.” Her tone made it sound like she was just remembering that fact herself. She looked up and shot him an awkward smile. “I guess I don’t really know what to say.”

“Me either.”

He could’ve sworn he saw her face drop at his words.

They separated soon after, the uncomfortable silence taking over and suffocating them both out of the vicinity of each other. Vernon returned to his spot in the kitchen, picking at the pieces of takeout still leftover on the counter, listening to the others squabble over meaningless things.

He watched Y/N leave, feet rooted by the hallway door and mouth firmly shut closed - he didn’t trust himself to say goodbye to her - he knew that if he had, a million unsaid words would have spilled out and the night would have ended terribly for the both of them. But it was the fear that kept him still most of all, as he watched her exchange numbers with Seungkwan, hugging the others and promising to keep in touch. He stayed as still as a statue as the door shut behind her.

“You idiot.” Seungkwan turned to face him as soon as he locked the door.

“Seungkwan.” Seungcheol’s warning tone made Vernon look at him. He was sending a strong warning glance at the boy.

“What?” Seungkwan protested. “He is being stupid.”

“I think I’m going to head back.” Vernon mumbled, grabbing his coat and hurriedly throwing it on, Y/N’s gift clutched tightly under his arm as he headed for the door. “Thanks for the party, Coups hyung.” He called behind him, shutting the door behind him and welcoming in the cool, biting winter air.

He released the pent up breath that had been choking him all night and furiously wiped away the tears that had begun to form the moment he shut the door behind him.

“Idiot.” He quietly chided himself. “So stupid.”

CHRISTMAS 2018:

“Are you really never going back to New York?” Joshua prodded at his arm with an insistent jab of a finger.

Vernon hummed in response. “There’s no point. My family prefers coming to Korea for the holidays anyways. They get to visit family here and everything.”

“What about your girlfriend?”

Vernon turned his head to see Joshua sporting a shit eating grin. “You know she’s not my girlfriend.”

“Might as well be.” He shrugged, pointing at the various photos that featured her against his wall. “Look at your pathetic loving gaze at her in all of these photos. You’re not even looking at the camera in any of these.”

Vernon frowned at his comment, taking a good look at the photos and realizing Joshua was right. “Doesn’t matter what I feel, hyung. She’s not my girlfriend.”

“She’ll never be if you don’t go back.” Joshua suddenly got serious, as he shifted in his seat to look at Vernon better. “Is there an actual reason why you won’t go back? I know we were too busy the last two years but this year we’re free.”

Vernon stayed silent even though the answer was clear as day in his mind. He was scared, terrified even. Terrified he had hurt her by neglecting her due to his heavy schedules, that she would slam the door in his face if he tried to visit her. “I don’t want to see her hate me.” He finally spat out, cringing as he said it.

Joshua let out a tiny noise of understanding. “So you’re avoiding her. Pretending so you don’t have to deal with the consequences.”

“When you put it like that you make me sound like an asshole.”

Joshua gave him a look that bordered on pitiful. “I don’t know what to tell you, man.”

“I’d rather remember her like this, y’know?” He said, pointing at the way she smiled at him in the pictures on his wall. “Instead of-”

“She might not hate you.” Joshua reminded him quietly from next to him.

“I really, really doubt that, hyung.”

5 HOURS TILL CHRISTMAS:

It wasn’t computing properly into Vernon’s head that you had just gotten him the one thing he’s been wanting all his life.

He had been ogling the Novation Launchpad Pro that was currently sitting on his work table for the last hour, not really believing what he was seeing with his own two eyes. Unwrapping it had been a heart attack in of itself, as he opened up Y/N’s present to reveal the one thing that had been sitting on the top of his childhood wish list since he could remember. Even now, as a famous artist who could afford the splurge, he had never gotten it for himself, knowing it was a luxury and a purchase he didn’t necessarily need.

“What the fuck, Y/N.” He muttered in disbelief, sliding his palm down his face as he continued to stare at the gift. It was fucking fantastic and exactly what he wanted, and it made him feel even worse about the whole situation.

She might not hate you. He recalled the words Joshua had told him one time, Christmases ago.

“Someone who hated me wouldn’t have gotten me this, right?” He said aloud to himself, reaching a timid hand out to fiddle with the launchpad controls. “How did she even know we’d be exchanging gifts anyways?” And how on earth does she know I never got myself one? In what felt like a split second decision, Vernon felt himself walking towards the door of his apartment, sliding his shoes on and grabbing his keys - only one destination in mind. He had to fix this, somehow. Because there was no fucking way she still hated him.

4 HOURS TILL CHRISTMAS:

She would’ve complained that the sudden doorbell at 3am woke her up but she hadn’t really been sleeping. Y/N had been lying in bed with her eyes wide open since the moment she’d gotten home, the bag of chocolates and various snacks from Vernon left on her kitchen counter. She had stifled a laugh when she opened it - even till this day, Vernon’s go to gift was still the same. Chocolate and snacks can never fail, he had told her, defending his choice of gift. Especially when you don’t know the person too well.

She supposed that line made sense for their situation too.

“Vernon?” She squinted at the figure standing on her porch in the dark. “What are you doing here?” She rubbed her eyes, mildly wondering if she was dreaming.

He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he stared down at her. “You got me the launchpad.”

She blinked. “Yeah.”

“How’d you know?”

She stared back at him, stunned at his bluntness and the randomness of the current setting. “You never shut up about it.”

His mouth opened and closed again. She watched as he tried looking for words, his vocabulary ultimately failing him.

“Come inside.” She said quietly, noticing how the harsh winter wind blew at his thin coat. Dragging him gently inside, she shut the door behind them both, turning around awkwardly to face him. She never thought she’d ever see him in his apartment - yet he looked so perfect.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, eyes darting around her place, taking it all in. “I know it’s late.” Glancing down at her pajamas, his lips quivered in a small smile. “Cute.”

“What?” She stared at him indignantly, completely thrown off by his behaviour. “Are you drunk?” She reached out a hand to touch his face, trying to check his temperature, but he caught her hand in his before she could reach.

“I’m not drunk, Y/N.” He dropped her hand like it had burned him.

“Then what are you here for?”

She watched him moisten his lips as he stalled for time.

“I wanted to say sorry.” He finally said, his words tumbling out as if they had been held back for long enough. “I shouldn’t have cut you off like that.”

She thought she’d have a more visceral reaction to the apology she had been waiting for all this time, but she didn’t. “Why are you saying this now? It’s been nearly ten years, Vernon.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Her shoulders sagged at his words and the sight of his dejected, ashamed face. “Why didn’t you come back? Or text me?” She asked him, pleading for an answer.

He finally looked up and met her eyes. “I guess I was scared. I got busy one year and didn’t go back- and I neglected our friendship. And then-” He paused, his voice breaking. “I left, and time passed and staying away felt simpler than going back. No goodbye felt better than a bad one.”

“It wouldn’t have been a bad goodbye.”

He shook his head. “You hated me.”

She looked away, remembering all the times she had cursed him for leaving her behind when she was younger. “Maybe. But never for long.” She mustered all her courage to tell him her next words. “I loved you too much to hate you for very long.”

Vernon blinked at her. “You loved me?”

She hummed in response, still not quite looking at him. They stood there, by her door, in the dim lights of her apartment.

“How did you even get my address?” She suddenly asked, forgetting he shouldn’t have known where to find her.

Vernon stayed silent, his mind still reeling from the sudden love confession. She used to love me?

“Vernon.” Y/N nudged him.

“Oh.” He finally responded, although his own voice felt like light years away as his mind continued to reel. “I asked my sister. Didn’t know you guys still talked.”

“Oh.”

“You used to love me?” He asked, incredulous, not quite believing her words. “Why?”

She laughed, and the sound wrapped around Vernon like her hugs used to. “What do you mean, why? Of course I loved you. I followed you around like a lost kid our entire childhood.”

“I loved you too, y’know.”

Her smile dropped as she paused mid-laugh. “What?”

He took a step closer to her, unsure where the sudden confidence was coming from. Vernon searched her eyes for some figment of affection, for truth, for the way she used to look at him when they were younger. “I don’t think I ever stopped loving you.” He finally admitted. “I definitely tried to, but your hold on me lasted through distance and time.”

“Me too.”

“What?”

“I never stopped loving you too.”

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jayhyunglover · 2 days ago

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Cinnamon girl

Pairing: Rafayel x female! reader

Wk: 0.7k

A/N : I was listening to Lana del Rey and the angst worm came to say Hello. Happy reading!!!

Now playing: cinnamon girl by Lana del Rey .

Imagine this quiet life with Rafayel.

Waking up entangled in the bed every morning. Going to sleep every night with him tucked nicely against you.

Everytime he came back weary from an exhibition you couldn't attend he sought comfort into your arms -his favorite place to be . His face pressed against your soft curves as he let your presence wash the remnants of exhaustion away.

He looks forward to this everyday , coming back to you , his safe place , his bride , his most devoted follower, his cinnamon girl.

But even a god has to pay for his sins .

what happens when this safe place is wrenched away from him or maybe she walked away herself. Who knows? Not everyone can bear the weight of this sacrificial love.

“Cutie” Rafayel called out for you , searching frantically through his studio. It was already late at night , this exhibition took longer than necessary. That's why he decided to grab some take out from your favorite place intending to spend the night cuddled against you.

But you were nowhere to be found . The moonlight spilling from the glass windows made the room glow with an ethereal light but it seemed so dull without you , his light.

“Darling you're scaring me” he chuckled nervously -his coping mechanism- “it's not funny” he sighed running a hand through his already mused up hair , not giving up on his search.

But as reality started to sink in , he felt his heart drop .

No you couldn't have left. Not again, not after he finally found you again.

The soft sea breeze washed over his soft features but he never felt colder.

Water , he needed water as you always said “drink water to swallow a bitter pill , to calm your frayed your nerves”

As he headed to the kitchen to drink a glass of water , his eyes fell on the turquoise blue bracelet you bought back on one of your trips. He also had a red one and when they were close to each other they both turned purple.

He picked the bracelet that was resting on top of a nicely folded up letter.

He took it with trembling hands , breathing shallow, heart beating so fast he could hear the frantic thump thump in his ear.

“The trick your mind can do”

That was the first sentence of your letter. He recognized your handwriting immediately, the soft cursive he admired so many times staring back at him.

“I am sorry for forgetting about you so many times”

The first tear fell on the sandy paper, heart twisting painfully in his chest at your words.

You didn't have to be sorry , he wasn't mad , he would never be.

“I hurt you so much , yet you still keep loving me. I wonder why ? Why would you keep living through this loop of suffering and heartache?”

Because without you everything is dull and devoid of anything, because without you he felt like a void.

“Rafayel I am sorry but I can't, I can't keep doing this to you. You deserve to be free”

No , he didn't , he'd be your prisoner forever if that means he'll have you by his side every day of his pitiful existence.

“To be happy” a scoff . How could he be happy now that his happiness has walked away.

“now I know how this story will end , how it always ends and I refuse to make you suffer longer. I'd rather lose somebody than use somebody , so please accept my sincere apologies and let me go , for both our sakes.”

The tears were blurring his vision now making it hard to breathe, soft shiny Pearls rolling against his cheek to fall on the cold ground.

“Take care of yourself, me and my love will always be there for you but never within reach.

Your love from the surface”

Rafayel drop to his knees, the pain unbearable , his chest feeling too tight.

Why does this keep happening? Why do you keep leaving him? Why ? Why ? Why ?

All he wanted was to keep you by his side , forever. But now you were gone.

Soft sobs escaped his parted lips, his eyes reddening from the tears , pearls surrounding his frame on the cold ground.

His love left him again, after waiting for 800 years , she left again leaving him a tumbling mess of pain and heartache.

Taglist: @jinwoosbabyboo @yourlocalcatscammer @mangooes @sunsethw4 @syluslittlekitten @poisonf0rest

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace x reader #lnds #otome game #zayne x reader #sylus #sylus x reader #xavier #lnds sylus #lnds Rafayel #lads Rafayel #Rafayel x reader #Rafayel angst #Rafayel fluff #Rafayel smut #lads

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youhideastar · 3 days ago

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Fangs of Fortune: A Primer

I keep hoping someone funnier or better with images than me will write a primer for this show, but I haven’t seen it yet, so it’s looking like I’m going to have to be the propaganda I want to see in the world.

Fangs of Fortune is a 34.5-episode drama that takes place in Ancient Fantasy China, split between the human world and the Wilderness (home of the yao/demons). You can watch it on iQiyi or YouTube. There will be some spoilers below, mostly for early episodes; photos here are from official production stills/promos. As far as I can tell, Fangs of Fortune is a (successful) attempt to get a m/m romantic pairing past the censors by giving the dudes a(n also-queer) female love interest as well, which is neat. The show cares way more about the characters than about the plot, so I’m going to follow suit, starting with…

Zhao Yuanzhou, a.k.a. Zhu Yan

30,000-year-old suicidal Great Demon with suave DILF energy, sky-high self-confidence, and rock-bottom self-worth. 8 years before the show opens, he was possessed by malicious energy and killed a ton of people, including the only living relatives (father and brother) of this guy:

Zhuo Yichen

24-year-old swordsman and demon hunter (head of the Demon Hunting Bureau, in fact), who wears the most beautiful costumes of all time, has sworn to avenge his family, and happens to be in possession of the only weapon that can kill the aforementioned Great Demon Zhao Yuanzhou—if only he knew how to use it.

On the dynamic between Zhao Yuanzhou and Zhuo Yichen, which is the driving force of this show, I can’t do better than this post and this post – please go read them, you will not regret it. In the meantime, please enjoy some homoerotic violent hand-holding.

Zhao Yuanzhou shows up at the Demon Hunting Bureau very sexily and offers to teach Zhuo Yichen to use said weapon, if Zhuo Yichen will (a) swear to kill him with it once they’re done, and (b) in the meantime, let Zhao Yuanzhou join the demon hunting crew. Specifically, he demands to be paired up with this lady:

Wen Xiao

Scholar, demon hunter, Zhuo Yichen’s sort-of foster sister, and technically the Baize Goddess, guardian of the Wilderness… but when her predecessor as Baize Goddess died, she couldn’t complete the transfer of her powers to Wen Xiao, leaving Wen Xiao unable to do the job, and sickly to boot. Wen Xiao compensates by being smarter, more socially adept, and more mentally healthy than everyone else in this cast… although I will grant that’s a low bar to clear.

While recruiting a crew to go after a pesky water demon, Wen Xiao runs into…

Pei Sijing

Stoic archer who recently retired from demon-hunting after she had to kill her own brother; target of Wen Xiao’s very persistent affections.

Here they are being cute together:

Congratulations, you have now met the polycule! There are also two comic-relief teenagers (with obligatory difficult backstories) and two villains, one of whom is boring and will be ignored, and one of whom is Zhao Yuanzhou’s human-hating mall goth demon ex-boyfriend Li Lun, as seen below:

There is not really an overarching plot: in general, the plot is driven by the desire to get Wen Xiao fully powered-up as the Baize Goddess so that she can fix stuff that has gone wrong in the Wilderness, but after a certain point, most plot arcs are driven by problems caused in the previous plot arc. The writers are way more invested in putting the characters in Situations that will crunch them up against each other in interesting ways than in having a coherent plot or worldbuilding. Fortunately, they are very good at writing these characters reacting to each other in Situations, so it works out.

Why should you watch this show? First, it is delightfully gay and there is great fic for it, which you will get more out of if you’re familiar with canon (but don’t let that stop you from diving in now…). Second, the writers are really good at building compelling relationships between characters, romantic and otherwise, and in particular, they have a gift for writing two-character dialogue scenes and cute banter. Third, damn, this is maybe the most visually beautiful show I’ve ever seen in my life. The costumes, in particular, are unbelievable.

Are there downsides? Yeah, candidly, you are going to spend a chunk of the first third of the show sitting through long flashbacks that I call The Ponderous Tragic Backstories of the Het Guest Stars when all you want to do is get back to the main characters. Don’t worry, the whole show is not like this. It happens four times (three toward the beginning and once toward the end). And at least even the Ponderous Tragic Backstories of the Het Guest Stars are still very pretty to look at.

Anyway – check it out! Ask me if you have questions! Correct me if I goofed on anything! See you in Queer Poly Ancient Fantasy China!

(Edited to correct the number of episodes, thank you, @kandadze!)

#fangs of fortune #dmgl #primer

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endiness · 3 days ago

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not to go off on this again (and because of a bullshit clickbait article from screenrant as if that isn't their entire business model in the first place) but it's still so fucking mindboggling to me just how much henry cavill was able to brainwash people. like, the idea that he was the one that made the show and he was the only good thing about it and the only good casting choice when he was very noticeably the worst actor on the entire show and meanwhile the rest of the cast is extremely talented and easily acted circles around him. not to mention that he has all the charisma of a black hole sucking all of the chemistry out of the room.

and the whole idea that he is some uber fan of the franchise and the only person on the entire show that knows anything about the source material and cares about it which is also always said in conjunction with the idea that he's the one who made the show. when he didn't even know that the books existed, he only read them once after lauren told him about them, he's only played tw3 (and not even the dlc for it), and by his own admission he didn't do any research for the role. and then meanwhile you've got joey who wrote a whole ass song in ~24 hours and showed up in costume with a lute to audition and who's read the entire series at least 3 times as of 2023; therica, whose books are all annotated and she tries to go back and reread the series before each season and even goes on youtube to watch video essays to refresh her memories; cassie, who has a binder full of notes on philippa and her backstory and everything; and many, many other cast members who've done a lot of research into the books and their characters and the universe and the franchise. but somehow henry cavill is the massive superfan. because he said that a lot in interviews. while never actually giving any examples of that beyond, like, having said he played tw3 for a ton of hours. (which, duh, 'cause a playthrough of that game can easily clock in at +100 hours.)

and speaking of the idea that he just cares SO much about the source material and that's why he ragequit the show because the writers weren't following the books closely enough, likE. he is the one who made geralt's characterization book inaccurate in s1 because he would cut his lines and either just say nothing or grunt instead. (and he also gave his scene partners zero indication he was going to do this and just left them hanging and wondering what was going on and if he was actually going to say his lines and put them into the position of having to improvise and take his lines just to move the plot forward.) and the only reason why he suddenly started to advocate for a more book accurate geralt come s2 is because he got dunked on by reddit for his performance in s1. (which he also took virtually no responsibility for whatsoever and just passed all of the blame off onto the writers for HIS acting choices. wait, that's not entirely accurate. he also blamed yennefer and ciri's prominence on geralt's lack of dialogue even though ciri's scenes were the ones that were cut in s1. yennefer's, too, btw.) he also fucked up geralt and jaskier's friendship by cutting his lines in s1 (and imo there is a lot of implication that the things he was cutting in their scenes was actual affirmation on geralt's side of things that he actually cares about jaskier) and by his own admission, he didn't want to play them as being all buddy-buddy with each other. and his refusal to play geralt struggling with fatherhood and with any negative character traits in s2 led to the domino effect of eskel's death (which in itself led to vesemir trying to create new witchers and lambert's harsher attitude toward ciri), yennefer's betrayal, and voleth meir being the big bad of the season. he also cut a sex scene between geralt and yennefer in s2 because he didn't think it would be in character of them to have sex after reuniting (lolwut) and he cut a scene between geralt and triss of even them just platonically finding comfort in each other (that's what happens in the books.) but yeah, HE just cares about the source material SO MUCH. that's why everything he had a hand in went against the books.

(not to mention that the thing he was clashing with lauren over was that he was not the main character (ciri is the main character of the main books, btw) but rather co-lead with two women and he was mad that the show heavily revolves around women (the books heavily revolve around women) instead of men.) (in s2 interviews, he goes on about how important men being three dimensional characters is to him as if women being three dimensional characters on the show somehow means that men can't be. which is ironic of him to say anyway, tbh, considering he didn't want geralt to be a three dimensional character. as three dimensional characters have flaws. and he didn't want geralt to have any.) (oh, and just to mention but when talking about how violent men can be three dimensional and caring, henry cavill lists who men can be caring towards: other men, family, children. weird he doesn't mention women at all. i'm sure that's not an indication of anything especially when it's said by someone who's a self-professed nerd, lorebuff, redditor, and gamer. because they're always known for non-rancid takes about women. especially when they've already gotten flack for their "i'm afraid to flirt because i'll be accused of being a rapist" #metoo takes. 💅)

(also, just with the conspiracy theory that henry cavill ragequit the show because it wasn't following the books closely enough. like, that is just a conspiracy theory though. the only "proof" there ever was of it was henry cavill going on about how important adhering to the source material is to him. except everything he had a hand in went against the books, so that can't be true. and the thing he and lauren were clashing over was how he was not the main character (geralt is not the main character) and the prominence of women in the series (the women in the books drive the plot forward in massive ways). so that can't be true. and s3 was the closest adaption of the books anyway, so yeah. that really can't be true. and the only other thing that's "proof" is the rumor that the writers hate the source material. which was started by henry cavill's buddy, a writer who was fired from the show for allegedly being emotionally, physically, and sexually abusive. so i'm sure his word is totally trustworthy and he wouldn't have a vested interest in lying and creating a rumor to incite the fanbase against his former co-workers whom he was allegedly fired for mistreating in the first place. (btw, witin the past year, the same writer was fired again for allegedly the same kind of reasons.) also, i'm sure it's jut a coincidence how that rumor, which was started by henry cavill's friend, to disparage the show and the writers dropped about a week before henry cavill announced he was no longer going to be on the show. like, it definitely couldn't've been a coordinated effort between them or anything.) (psst, the rumor that hc was fired for being sexist actually has the most evidence supporting it. js.)

#!txt: the witcher #anti henry cavill #the witcher

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twstfanblog · 3 days ago

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Has Yuu told the boys about Krampus?

The story is actually pretty fucked up, he was an evil butcher that killed, chopped up, and salted 3 children hanging out by his shop. St. Nicholas found out and performed actually fucking necromancy to bring the kids back to life, and then God cursed the butcher to follow St. Nick around every December 5 as a punisher and the demon of Christmas :D

Anyways I think Kalim and Riddle would have the best reactions but what do you think?

In my Christmas fic last year, I had wanted to add in a little thing on Krampus and Santa, but it didn't end up fitting.

Honestly Leona is the first who came to mind about wanting to know about Krampus. I do know Yuu'd talk about Santa to the kids because like 'Yeah if you're really good all year round, a man will bring you a really great gift.'

But Leona takes great pleasure in looking Cheka in the eyes and telling him he's going to call Krampus to take him away in his sack if he keeps yelling in his ears. (He then has to deal with a terrified Cheka clinging to him later that night).

Riddle would like the idea at first but then hearing the whole tale, I think he'd be distressed like. Wait, the actual children DIE? They're taken away forever? To that hell place??? The children are eaten???? He's got a few concerns at the very least. He feels more comfortable with Santa's 'naughty children get coal' than Krampus's 'naughty children are beaten with sticks and eaten in Hell'.

Kalim is DISTRESSED. No! His little siblings are in danger enough with kidnapping attempts! Now he's gotta worry about a magic man taking them!? He will fight Krampus to the death honestly. Gathers up all his little siblings and has them sleep in his room. Stays away all night to guard them with Jamil's help. (Jamil calling Yuu and asking why she hates him enough to tell Kalim about a demon that's entire MO is EATTING AND KIDNAPPING CHILDREN????).

Yuu 100 tells her children about Krampus before they even KNOW about Santa. All of her children are naughty lil brats 😅

#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #twst wonderland #valencia rambles #yuu oc #leona kingscholar #riddle rosehearts #kalim al asim

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stargazsblog · 14 hours ago

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how to lose a girl in 10 days | ch.1 the bet

ryomen sukuna x fem!reader

ʚɞ ryomen sukuna is tall, devastatingly handsome, and the campus heartbreaker. everyone knows his name, and his reputation for leaving girls with broken hearts. but then there's you uninterested and completely unimpressed by him. you're the only girl who couldn't care less about him. when his friends tease him about it, everything changes. they challenge him with a bet to make you, the one person who isn't affected by his charm, fall in love with him in just 10 days, sukuna accepts the challenge, thinking it'll be an easy win. it's just a game, a way to prove he can get any girl he wants. but the more time he spends with you, he finds himself wanting something he never expected.

ʚɞ warning/tags: angst, fluff, romance, use of cigarettes and alcohol, jealousy, asshole sukuna, heartbreak, inspired by how to lose a guy in 10 days, college au, enemies to lovers.

ʚɞ now playing - no. 1 party anthem by arctic monkeys

note: hi guys! this is the first chapter and I'm so excited this is just about how the bet starts nothing crazyyyy YET… i can’t wait to write more! merry christmas!! <3

masterlist

“I still don’t know why I let you talk me into this,” you muttered, pulling your jacket tighter around yourself. The muffled thump of bass from inside the house was enough to make your ears ring, even from a distance. The faint smell of cigarette smoke and cheap beer mixed with the crisp winter breeze, making you wrinkle your nose.

“Because,” Shoko said, throwing an arm around your shoulder. “Deep down, you know you’ll have fun if you let yourself.” she grinned at you.

You side-eye her, “Have fun?, this is a party of drunk idiots I have to pretend I like.”

“Don't be dramatic.” Shoko rolled her eyes, patting your shoulder as she let you go. ”You spend too much time brooding alone in your dorm, anyway.”

“I call it peace,” you shot back, but Shoko was already halfway up the stairs.

The door swung open before either of you could reach it. A group of boys tumbled out, laughing and shouting, nearly knocking you over in the process. You stepped aside just in time, muttering a curse under your breath

The heat of the crowded house hit you immediately. The air was thick, almost suffocating, with the smell of sweat, spilled drinks, and overly sweet perfume. Bodies pressed together as people danced to the relentless beat of the music.

“Come on, let's get a drink,” she said, grabbing your wrist and leading you towards the kitchen. You stuck close to her, pushing past people in the crowd and avoiding eye contact as much as possible.

“This is a disaster,” you muttered as you reached the kitchen, leaning against the counter. Shoko handed you a bottle of water before pouring herself something that smelled suspiciously strong.

“It's just a party,” she replied.

As she took a sip, she leaned against the counter, her eyes scanning the room again. “There he is,” she said, nudging you with her elbow.

“Who?”

“You know who.”

Your gaze followed hers, landing on a familiar figure sprawled out on the couch in the corner of the living room. Ryomen Sukuna.

He was sitting on the couch like he owned the place, his long legs stretched out, one arm casually draped over the back of the sofa. He was wearing a white shirt, the fabric clinging just enough to hint at the toned muscles underneath. His eyes scanned the room with practiced boredom, like none of it was worth his time.

A girl was sitting on his lap, twirling her hair around her finger and giggling as if he’d just told her the funniest joke in the world. She leaned closer, whispering something in his ear, but he didn’t seem to be paying attention. Instead, his gaze drifted and then locked onto yours.

He grinned, a slow, cocky smirk that made something in your chest tighten not with attraction, but with irritation. It was the kind of grin that said he knew exactly the effect he had on people and loved to watch them crumble under it. He tilted his head slightly, as if to say, Caught you staring

As you looked away, you could feel the weight of his gaze on you. But you didn’t turn back. You weren’t interested.

“Great,” you muttered, taking a long sip from your water bottle. “Now I have to burn this memory from my brain.”

Shoko laughed, clearly enjoying your discomfort. “Oh, come on. You’ve got to admit, he’s hot.”

“He’s insufferable.”

“Hot and insufferable. The best combination.”

“I’ll leave right now.” you turned heel, but Shoko grabbed your arm, stopping you from your track.

“Relax, I’m just teasing you.”

Your jaw tightened, but you stayed put, watching as Sukuna leaned back even further, his eyes still fixed on you. The girl on his lap pouted, clearly annoyed at his lack of attention, but he didn’t seem to care.

“I hate him,” you muttered under your breath. The words came out bitter, but they were true. “Did I mention that before?”

“Yeah, like hundreds of times,” She replied, laughing “You really hate him, huh?”

“I just don’t get how people fall for his act,” you said.

Shoko shrugged. “Like I said, he’s hot. People like hot.”

“Hot doesn’t excuse being an asshole,” you murmured, crossing your arms. “What’s his deal, anyway? Does he just sit there all night waiting for people to grovel at his feet?”

“Pretty much,” Shoko said with a shrug. “But he’s good at it. Watch.”

As if on cue, another girl approached him, drink in hand. She leaned down, her lips close to his ear as she said something you couldn’t hear. Sukuna smirked, his attention finally shifting away from you, and you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.

“See? he’s harmless,” Shoko said.

“Harmless,” you repeated, your voice with sarcasm. “Sure.”

“You know, you’re the only one who doesn’t fall for his charm.”

“Good,” you said firmly, crossing your arms. “I’m not about to start. I don’t need someone like him in my life.”

“You gonna keep her there all night?” Suguru asked, nodding towards the girl on Sukuna’s lap.

Sukuna smirked tilting his head back. “why not? She's comfortable here.” the girl giggled again, clearly tipsy, but Sukuna's attention has already wandered. His eyes scanned the room lazily, taking in the usual suspect, drunk athletes, and the occasional out-of-place loner. Until it landed on you.

You stood in the kitchen, keeping your distance from the chaos, leaning against the counter with your arms crossed. Your eyes roamed over the room, observing, until they met his. He caught you looking, and a smirk tugged at his lips. When you quickly looked away, he let out a low chuckle.

His friends noticed this.

“You’ve been staring at her for the last ten minutes, what’s the deal?” Geto voice cut thought Sukuna’s thoughts, and he glanced over at his friend.

“I’m not staring,” Sukuna retorted smoothly, his tone laced with nonchalance as he effortlessly lifted the girl off his lap. She let out an irritated groan, before stalking off in a huff. “Just observing,”

“Oh, don’t give me that,” Geto teased, raising an eyebrow. “I’ve seen the way you're staring at her, that’s not the ‘I’m observing’ look you usually give what’s going on with you.”

Sukuna’s gaze flickered to you once more. “She’s different,” He had noticed you around campus—the way you never spared him a second glance when you passed by, completely unaffected by his presence. Once, he’d even tried to strike up a conversation, but you had brushed past him without so much as acknowledging him, as though he were invisible.

Gojo chuckled “Different? Dude, that girl is the only one who doesn’t drool over you.”

Sukuna’s lip curled into a sly grin. “So what?”

“So,” Suguru continues, crossing his arms, leaning against the couch. “you’ve never met a girl who doesn’t fall for your charm, right? You’ve been with everyone but her? she couldn’t care less.”

Gojo snorted. “And she’s probably the only one on campus. That’s gotta sting.”

Sukuna scoffed, leaning forward slightly. “Please. She is probably playing hard to get.”

Geto exchanged a glance with Gojo, and then a mischievous grunt flashed his eyes. “All alright, how about we make this interesting? We give you ten days.”

Sukuna raised an eyebrow, “Ten days?’

“Yeah,” he said with a sly smile “Ten days you make her fall in love with you.”

Sukana let out a short laugh, but the challenge already sounded fun to him. He never was the type to back down from a game. “You think I need ten days?”

Suguru shrugged, a knowing smirk playing on his lips. “It’d be easier if it were any other girl. But this one… she’s too—what’s the word? Stubborn. Definitely not into guys like you,” he said, “She won’t be an easy win. That’s what makes it interesting, though.”

Satoru chimes in “Yeah, man. You can’t just use your looks and charm this time. You’re gonna have to actually work for it.”

Sukana's eyes flicked back to you for a split second. You were standing there unaware of the conversation that was happening a few feet away from you. “Ten days huh?” he murmured.

“Ten days” Gojo repeated. “And if you fail you lose. It's as simple as that.”

His expression turned darker, the idea of him not winning seemed unthinkable. He wasn’t just going to prove them wrong he was going to show them that no one could resist him.

Gojo leaned back, a grin tugging at his lips. “Oh, and one more thing,” he added, glancing at Sukuna. “You can't be seen with other girls. It’s gotta look real, after all.”

Sukuna’s expression shifted slightly, an eyebrow raised in silent challenge. “You think I need rules to make this work?” he asked.

Geto gave a small nod. “It’s just to make sure no one gets suspicious. You’ll need to actually put in the effort.”

Sukuna smirked, unfazed. “Fine. I’ll play by your rules, but don’t expect me to go easy on her.”

Ten days to make you fall for him. The girl who wouldn’t give him the time of the day. The girl who didn’t care about his reputation. The girl who has no idea what was coming for her.

Unknowingly, you had already been pulled into his game.

“You think his shirt could be any tighter,” Shoko muttered, nodding towards a guy who was flexing across the room.

You snorted. “Pretty sure it's painted on.” leaning against the kitchen counter. Shoko grinned at your words, sipping from her cup.

The kitchen was quieter than the rest of the party, you leaned against the counter sipping on your water. Shoko perched on the edge of the sink, swinging her legs as she talked. You were nodding and listening to the story she was telling you. You hear a group of people walking in the kitchen, their laughter loud and careless. You don’t even need to turn around to know who it is. The weight of his presence pressed into the room like a rebound heartbeat. Ryomen Sukuna.

His graze swept the kitchen, it lingered on you for a moment too long, and a smirk appeared on his face.

“Shoko,” one of his friends called out, his tone playful, but almost teasing. “Come help us with something. It’ll be fun, I promise.”

Shoko raised an eyebrow, glancing between you and them. “Fun, huh? i doubt it.”

“It’s better than being stuck in here,” another white-haired friend chimed in.

She rolled her eyes but slid off the counter anyway, giving you a quick pat on the shoulder. “Don’t get too comfortable,” she said with a wink before following them out of the kitchen. And then, it was just you and him.

Great.

Sukuna didn't say anything, but you could feel the weight of his gaze, as he leaned against the counter across from you.

“Guess it’s just us now,” he said finally his voice low and smooth.

You didn't look up, keeping your focus on your drink “Lucky me,” you replied, your tone dry.

He chuckled softly, the sound rich and deep. “You don’t sound too thrilled.”

When you finally glanced up, he was much closer than you’d expected. His tall frame leaned casually against the counter opposite you. Up close, the details of his features were almost overwhelming—the sharp line of his jaw, the subtle curve of his lips that formed an infuriatingly smug smirk, and the mess of his hair falling carelessly over his forehead. You couldn’t deny it, no matter how much you wanted to. He was hot—like, really hot.

“You’re not exactly the first guy to try this,” you said coolly, taking another sip from your drink, your gaze steady as you met his.

Sukuna tilted his head slightly, his eyes narrowing in amusement. “Try what?” he asked.

“Whatever you’re doing right now,” you replied, “the whole brooding, mysterious thing. It’s not as original as you think.”

He laughed at that, his head tilting back just enough to expose the line of his throat. It wasn’t often that people spoke to him like this, you realized. Most would have thrown themselves at him.

“You’re sharp,” he said, pushing off the counter and taking a step closer. The scent of him hits you. “I like that,” he added, his voice low, a hint of approval in his tone as his gaze lingered on you.

You arched an eyebrow, unimpressed by him. “And I don’t care.”

He paused not being he was offended, but because he wasn’t used to being dismissed, even by someone who didn't so much flinch under his gaze.

He took another step forward, closing the distance between you. “Most people would kill to be in your position right now,” his tone quieter now, almost intimate, as his eyes locked onto yours.

You smirked, setting your drink on the counter behind you. “Then maybe you should go find ‘most people,’” you replied coolly, not breaking eye contact.”

The silence hung in the air. Sukuna’s eyes lingered on you for a moment, then slowly, his gaze dipped to your lips. The smirk on his face faltered just slightly as if he was plotting something in his mind, before it returned—sharper, more amused.

“You’re different,” he murmured finally, his voice low, the words lingering in the air as his gaze stayed fixed on your lips, the tension between you growing with each passing second.

“Should I take that as a compliment?” you asked.

“Take it however you want,” he said, his voice softer now, almost a whisper, his gaze still lingering on your lips as if he was waiting for your next move.

His gaze made it hard to look away. But you forced yourself to break the connection, turning your focus elsewhere. You weren’t sure what Sukuna was trying to do—charm you, challenge you, or maybe a little of both.

“I’m not interested in you, if that’s what you’re wondering,” you said, your tone firm, making sure he knew you weren’t fazed by his presence.

He tilted his head, his smirk fading for a moment. He just looked at you, his dark eyes searching yours as if he were trying to read you.

“We’ll see about that,” he said, his voice low and confident, before turning and walking out.

You let out a slow breath, the heat of his presence lingering in the air. Sukuna wasn’t used to being ignored, and for him, that only made you more of a challenge.

But you weren’t here to play his game.

At least, that’s what you thought.

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hellfireloserclub · 2 days ago

Text

For @kaspurrcat . Happy seasonal whatever it is you celebrate at this time of year ! Hope you enjoy your @steddieexchange fic !

Read it on ao3 here

Eddie didn't have a soulmate. He was almost certain of it.

He was almost twenty-two, most soulmates met or crossed paths way before they turned twenty-one.

If he had a soulmate, wouldn't they have shown up by now?

He was pretty sure your soulmate was supposed to show themselves in a near death situation? At this point he was pretty well versed in that department.

He had seen the light. The pearly gates had been calling. He had sacrificed himself for the greater good and all that bullshit, and if you were to believe Wayne, that was a one-way ticket to nirvana.

But the big guy upstairs had kicked him back to the mortal realm with little to no ceremony. He had followed the voices, like a good boy. You know the way they had preached each Sunday at church when he was knee high to a grasshopper. But instead of fluffy clouds and dudes playing harps, the voices had led him back to the blood red skies of the Upside Down.

Maybe he hadn't gotten a free pass after all.

Waking up in Steve Harrington's arms once was an anomaly, his stupidly honest big brown eyes pleading for Eddie to be alright. It wasn’t the worst experience in the world, at least someone other than Dustin had been there to put his insides back in the right place.

The second time Eddie came back from the dead under Steve Harrington's capable hands, it was just getting weird.

Harrington was like a cockroach; you couldn't kill him, but did he have to always be there when Eddie was on the brink of death?

The pair of them really needed to stop jumping head first into lovers lake, it never ended well for either of them. It was getting to where he was pretty sure his near-death experiences were more near Steve experiences these days.

Now if you were to believe the textbooks and the mushy romance novels… the love of Eddie's life should have been the one to bring him back from the brink.

Not Steve ‘king of the hair’ Harrington.

So in Eddie's defense, he was pretty sure that his soulmate just didn't exist.

She would have turned up by now right? Some universal bond tying him to the earthly realm.

He would have some sort of mark, something that tied them together, but he didn't.

All he had was scars.

Scars, nightmares, and a Knight in denim armor in the form of Steve Harrington. Someone he now got to count as one of his closest friends.

So when anyone asked him about it -why he still hasn't found his other half- he told them it didn't matter. Because it really didn't. The world was a big place, there was every chance your soulmate didn't even live in the same town, city, state… hell they might not even live on the same continent.

So it didn't matter. Eddie didn't have a soulmate. Eddie didn't care.

Only he did.

Ever since he came back from the dead the second time, (He really hoped he wouldn't have to make it a third time and that this time Vecna really stayed dead) Eddie had become obsessed with the concept of soulmates. Fascinated by the way the universe decided who was the other half of your soul and how that bond manifested. He had notebook after notebook on the subject. Read every book he could get his hands on copying paragraph after paragraph into his swooping scrawl.

He observed the people in his life like they were a nature documentary, then when his brain had processed the information he recorded it in his notes.

If he had been this thorough in high school, he might have graduated first time around.

He watched as Hopper and Joyce re-connected a soul bond that had formed back when they were teens.

Joyce would regale them whenever she got a drink in her hand, that something had pulled her to keep looking for Hopper when he disappeared. Not that same drive that had made everyone think she was crazy when Will disappeared, it was something else. It was the feeling of being tugged in a direction but not knowing where to go. A buzz in her mind that told her that Hop wasn't dead. It was the same feeling she had back when they Upside Down had come knocking the first time, but this time it was tenfold.

(Eddie wished he had someone who would always keep looking for him, it would be nice not to feel lost )

Lucas had instinctively known what Max had needed all the way through her time in the hospital, even when she was three floors above them and deep in a coma.

In her time of healing, he formed the echoes of her wounds and ever since any minor cut or blemish showed on the others skin when they hurt themselves.

Max learning to skate again had ended up with Lucas looking like he had fallen out of a tree. But he wore his bruises and scrapes with pride and they faded a lot faster than the ones that the car park had created outside of Maldives.

(The only wounds that showed on his skin these days were paper cuts from all his notebooks and the occasional burn to the tip of his finger. His mind wandered when he smoked and he must burn them down to the filter more often than he noticed. )

Nancy and Jonathan had manufactured soul marks, twin cuts on their palms that had been their own doing, a bond made rather than given, born through trauma and blood. Since they had reunited that bond had grown stronger.

It must have sucked to be Harrington, Eddie had been routing for him. As far as Eddie could see Steve was head over heels for Nancy, at least he had been back then.

But Jon and Nancy’s bond is forged in blood. The strongest of the soul bonds, made from sacrifice. Sure Steve had thrown himself in front of the jaws of death a million times, but not in the same way as Nancy and Jon had that first time.

(Eddie thought about it every time he looked at the scar on his arm from when he and Steve had cut themselves to lure the Demodogs away from the hospital and towards lovers lake. He still can’t believe his stupid plan worked. He had been in no fit state to be trying to run for his life again, but had been back on his feet enough to lure the drooling monsters away from Max’s door. But it had worked, and it had worked well. Right until something pulled him and Steve to the bottom of the lake again, but Eddie's plans rarely had an exit strategy, getting out was an afterthought.)

Eddie had wondered why the trauma that Robin and Steve went through hadn’t marked them. Normally five drinks deep and high as a kite he would ask them, the weird little third wheel that he was.

But whenever Eddie brought it up Steve would go quiet, and Robin would tell Eddie that when you only had one brain between you both, sharing a soul wouldn’t be the best idea.

Steve would get fidgety and rub absentmindedly at his neck, then mutter about soulmates being ridiculous, anyway. He rubbed that scar a lot, whenever he was nervous, whenever he was deep in thought.

Eddie wondered if it tingled and itched the way his own did, late at night when he was lying alone and pining for something he didn't seem to have.

Maybe notorious ladies’ man Harrington had the same problem as Eddie?

It wasn't unheard of to lose a soulmate, and Hawkins had a high body count.

Wayne had never met the other half of his soul, that little tug of fate had never come calling and Wayne was fine, Wayne was happy. At least that's what Eddie thought, it was sometimes hard to read his old man's expression and because he was a man of few words; it wasn't like they were ever going to go all deep and meaningful over it.

But just this once Eddie felt like he would like to be normal. He was getting kind of sick and tired of being the anomaly. He could deal with being the freak, but on his terms. When it came to this, to the matter of his very soul, it would be nice to be a little sheepee instead of the big bad wolf.

*************

Eddie flexed his arm in the breakroom mirror, his new ink had healed nicely.

Gareth had suggested a trip into the big city when he was back from college for Thanksgiving, and who was Eddie to deny one of his oldest friends anything?

It was an act of split second decision to swing into the tattoo parlor. Garath wanted, and Eddie was weak willed and easily led.

The guy had done a good job; he left with his bats touched up and looking a lot less like they had been chewed up by the demonic version of their best selves. The stick and poke version was long gone, replaced by the forking tails of the beasts that had given him the gnarly flesh wounds he was now trying to make a distant memory.

It was nice to look in the mirror and not instantly be reminded of skin grafts and trauma, to see bits of himself rising to the surface.

Yeah maybe the bats had been a bit on the nose, but he had read enough Batman comics to learn to embrace the thing that scared him.

It was helping to hold on to at least one bit of his own identity. He was not enjoying being part of the corporate grind, even if that corporate grind was lugging boxes around and stacking shelves in Family Video alongside Steve. Battle vest traded in for the forest green monstrosity that did nothing for his complexion.

The only thing it had going for it was the fact that he could wear whatever the hell he liked under the thing as long as he toned it down when head office showed up.

After all, he was friends with the boss.

Life was serene when Steve was the boss, especially when he was willing to rotate the staff around Hellfire, important Party business and Eddie’s inability to function on anything that looked or acted like a schedule.

Right now the man in question was watching him from the door, arms crossed in irritation as he tapped his foot in agitation.

“You look hot Munson, Sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in a work vest, now can we please, get a move on.” Steve bitched as he checked the time on his watch again.

“Buckley isn’t back for at least another hour and a half, what's the rush sweetheart?” Eddie said over his shoulder as he pulled his sweater back down over his hands and threw his vest in the staff's corner room where it would have to rot till his next shift.

“We have to pick up the tree from Hoppers before we go get her and I wanted to catch my parents before they fly out to my Gran’s for the holidays-”

“They leaving you here again?” Eddie asked sceptically, as he pulled on his jacket, not that he didn’t like the Harrington's; they had been nothing but nice to him. He just wished that once in a while they would put Steve before whatever flight of fancy his mother took, or the business trips his dad couldn’t be trusted to take alone.

“I told them I didn’t want to go, I haven’t seen Robin in over a month, and I have work. Pair that with the fact that I really can’t be bothered with my Gran lecturing me on how disappointed she is in me I took the get out of jail free card . This way I get to see your cheerful face throughout this festive season.” Steve said, patting Eddie on both cheeks.

Steve had a way of getting under Eddie's skin like nobody else, if anyone else tried to baby him like this he would bite them. Verbally or physically depending on who it was, although he did try to rein in his strangeness these days, at least in public, but not around Steve, he snapped after Steve's fingers as he pulled them away.

“Yeah, but now… I get to feel guilty about the fact you're rocking around that great big house of yours on your own on the big day, baby… pretty thing like you shouldn’t be alone on Christmas.” Eddie said as he followed Steve towards the door. Getting as close as he dares to really irritate the man. It was too early to close the store, they both knew that, but who was going to tell them off? Steve?

Trying to irritate him didn’t work, as soon as they were at the door Steve halted and Eddie plowed right into his back, causing the other man to laugh and reach out and steady him.

“Careful.” Steve said as he reached around him to flip the sign, pulled his packet of Malbrough out of his pocket and gently pushed Eddie out the door.

It was a well-practiced thing now, the first smoke at the end of the shift. If they were picking up Robin soon, it might be the last one Steve had for a while. Robin’s wrath at them smoking around her wasn’t worth the nicotine fix.

Eddie watched as the other man went through his routine, lighting two cigarettes in his own mouth then passing one to Eddie, he let Steve place it between his lips no questions asked.

Steve seemed to mill something over in his mind as he took his first deep huff of smoke.

“I’m not going to be alone, I’ll be at Henderson’s, just like you no doubt, because I’m sure as hell that Uncle Wayne refused to take the day off.”

“Stubborn as a mule, and just as predictable.” Eddie grumbled.

“Uncle Wayne or you?” Steve asked, blowing small smoke circles in the air. The sight momentarily hypnotized Eddie, unable to take his eyes away from the way Steve twisted his tongue to get the shapes right.

“You don’t have to call him Uncle, we've been through this.” Eddie groused as he ashed his own cigarette, before opening his side of the truck and climbing behind the driver's seat.

“Yeah I know, but he won’t let me call him Sir and he keeps telling me if I call him Mr. Munson, I’m not allowed in the apartment.” Steve lamented as they drove out of the car park and turned towards the forest. “I know for a fact that Mama Claudia would never leave you and Wayne out when she invited all the strays around for lunch, because she’s incapable of not looking after a lost cause.”

“Does this mean I have to get you a gift?” Eddie asked as they idled at a red light, the snow falling slowly outside adding an element of whimsy to the traitorous conditions. He took his last draw of his smoke and stubbed it out in his ashtray, eyes half on the road, half on his closest friend in the passenger seat. He looked good today, all ruddy cheeked and wind swept, even if his signature hair hid underneath a black wool hat that he had stolen from Eddie last time he was at the apartment.

“You mean you haven’t already?” Steve pouted from the passenger seat, angel and bastard all rolled into one being. “I thought I was a kept man?”

“Whores will have their trinkets.” Eddie lamented and Steve punched him in the arm.

“Strong words when you're the only one who’s had a date in months.” Steve grumbled waving his cigarette around in Eddie’s direction. It was almost burned to the filter, and Eddie wondered if Steve was determined to enjoy every bit before Robin got here, or if he had just forgotten he was smoking it like usual.

“Failed date’s Harrington. Failed dates. I’m an accused murderer, at least I have an excuse for striking out. What’s your excuse?” God the light was taking forever to change, Eddie rubbed his hand along the raised bumps of his steering wheel, the action burning friction to the tips of his fingers, the warmth welcomed against the bitterness of the snow.

“I’m just not interested? I dunno, I just…” Steve trailed off, rubbing absentmindedly at his right arm. “Maybe I’m just caught up on something I can’t have, keep sabotaging myself before I’ve even gotten them out the front door.”

“You got your eye on someone?” Eddie asked. Steve had mentioned no one recently, he hadn’t even really tried to hit on any of the women that clearly were flirting with him when they came into the store.

“Is it someone I know?”

“He is yeah.” Steve said quietly, so quiet Eddie was sure he wasn’t supposed to hear it.

Steve made a fuss of stubbing out his cigarette, raising his hand to his mouth where he had ignited the filter and it had caught his skin. It was quick and Eddie almost missed it but Steve looked over to him as Eddie inhaled quickly, a warmth spreading through him he couldn’t quite put a finger on, even if that was where it had started.

“He?” he asked carefully, aware that how he handled this was going to make or break this strange friendship that both he and Steve had cultivated. He didn’t want Steve to think he was about to punch him in the face.

“He.” Steve said again, rubbing at his arm with a little more persistence. “But you know, small town Indiana. So the chance of him liking me back? It’s like the chances of something coming from Mars…so what? A million to one? So like…” He waved his hand about weakly. This wasn’t the time to point out that Steve had definitely been spending too much time with him and Dustin.

“So is he like… You know.. Your soulmate?” Eddie asked, wishing the light would hurry and change color so he could make himself concentrate on the road.

“I had a feeling he was. But it was sort of confirmed the other week. But who knows, maybe I’m just clutching at straws. I don’t think he knows, or if he does, he's said nothing.” Steve said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “Maybe he knows and just doesn't care, that’s always an option.”

That made something twist in Eddie’s stomach, he had been so sure that Steve, like himself, was destined not to find his soulmate. But knowing that he had found him, and they didn't want him back?

It was making Eddie’s insides knot with jealousy and rage and he didn’t like the taste of it on his tongue.

“Maybe he’s scared? Or maybe he’s just an idiot, or he just hasn’t released? I mean Maybe he’s not looking for a dude? Although I dunno, how anyone could spend five minutes with you and not love you Stevie. You just need to turn on that Harrington charm right?” Eddie asked as the lights finally changed color and he could drag his eyes away from the worried expression that was plastered on Steve’s face now.

“I've tried, he's oblivious.” Steve said weakly, he sounded so defeated it was making Eddie’s heart ache.

This was why Eddie had given up, he never wanted to sound that sad over something that was outside of his own control.

He chanced a glance in Steve’s direction; he was chewing on his finger now, red from the burn and now the irritation of Steve’s tongue and lips.

“It doesn’t bother you… that I’m…that I like…”

“That, you like dicks?” Eddie asked, almost unable to keep the nervous laughter out of his voice. He didn’t have a problem with it, it had just thrown him, he hadn’t expected it from ladies’ man Steve.

“Dunno never tried it. I was gonna say dudes, but you just gotta make it weird right?” Steve said with a depreciated laugh. Eddie couldn’t let that slide. Steve was a saint, he didn’t get to belittle himself, not on Eddie’s watch.

“King of the freaks, remember? It’s my job to be weird, it happens by default. Anyway, who am I to ever stop anyone from being the best version of themself? Plus, if you’re gay that means more women for me right?” Eddie said, focusing on trying to find the turnoff to Hoppers through the now dense falling snow.

“Not gay.” Steve said as he tapped him on the arm and pointed to the turn in the road that Eddie had almost missed.

“You just told me your soulmate is a dude and that you like dicks…. Sounds pretty gay to me Stevie.” Eddie reasoned as carefully turned onto the wood-lined drive to the Hoppers- Byers cabin.

“You know you can like both women and men right?” Steve asked quietly as he zipped his coat tighter at the sight of Hopper and Jane waiting for them with a pre-cut tree. “There’s a word for it, but we all know how bad I am with words. Robin will be able to tell you later, but yeah.. Whatever that is? That's me, so, I just…” Steve seemed to sink into himself more lost in the many folds of his oversized jacket.

Eddie said nothing as he parked up. Processing what Steve had just told him? Both? That creature that lived in him paced, trying to process this new knowledge. Eddie tried to soothe it, this wasn’t the time, he could look at that new information later when Steve wasn’t spilling his heart out to him in a snowstorm.

They were both about to get out when he reached over and grabbed Steve’s arm, warmth running through him when Steve didn’t pull away.

“Thankyou for telling me, you didn’t have to-”

“-But I wanted to.” Steve said with a weak smile as he stepped out into the building storm.

*********

Robin and Steve had fallen straight into that silent communication that Eddie still didn't get but reluctantly admitted was kind of cute in a twisted way.

He preferred no words better than the hushed conversations the two of them were having in the back seat, keeping voices low so the sound of the truck kept their secrets.

After their earlier conversation, he and Steve hadn’t really circled back around to the earth shattering revelation that Steve’s soulmate was a guy.

It felt like with this new knowledge about Steve, Eddie’s world view was changing.

To be fair, his world view had changed a lot since 86, that ladies’ man Steve also liked guys was really pretty far down on the list of life shattering revelations.

Yet Eddie was confused why the thought of it was giving him palpitations. The idea was sitting heavily in his chest and in his head and it was just as well he had to keep his eyes on the road because he knew if he didn’t he was likely to dwell on his new factoid and spiral down a rabbit hole he wasn’t sure he would get out of soon.

Every so often Eddie would glance at the two people in the back seat, covertly of course, the wonder of the rear-view mirror.

Steve was showing Robin something, his body twisted so that Eddie couldn’t make out what it was. He couldn't make out what they were saying with a quirk of the eyebrow and a knowing glance, no matter how good he had gotten at reading the expressions of the two weirdos behind him.

Was Steve telling Robin the thing that had confirmed to Steve that the person he thought was his soulmate was actually his soulmate?

Eddie turned the music up to give the two of them more privacy.

Steve would share his revelation with him when he was ready. If he was ever ready to.

As he turned towards Loch Nora, Eddie felt the mood change in the car.

That ache was back, it sat heavy in his chest, a longing for something he couldn’t have.

He couldn't work out why it snuck up on him like this, more and more when he least expected it.

When he glanced in the mirror again Steve was watching him. Robin curled into his side as she talked animatedly.

It was easy to see why people thought the two of them were a couple, joined at the hip, mirrors of each other in almost every way, now that Steve liked guys, that just added to the reflection.

“I heard dingus told you his good news?” Robin asked, leaning forward and resting herself between the two front chairs. It would annoy Eddie that one of them hadn’t just rode up front with him. But he knew the two of them had to fuze together as soon as possible when reunited, and it really wouldn’t have been safe for both of them to squash themselves into the front seat, at least not with the snow coming down like it was now.

“The whole, doubling his chances of absolutely foul balling his relationships?” Eddie asked as they passed the now entering Hawkins sign. “Yeah, he mentioned it.”

“And?”

“And what? I don’t have an issue with it if that’s what you're asking?”

“So you are cool with him being Bisexual-”

“That’s it Bisexual! How the hell did I not remember that?” Steve complained from the back seat.

“Doesn’t bother me what or who he sticks his dick in, or you know… the other way around.” Eddie had to really concentrate not to swerve the car as Robin smacked him in the arm. HARD.

In the back seat Steve yelped, Eddie figured Robin must have kicked him or something, but he couldn’t see past Robin in his rear-view mirror.

“Why are you both so revolting? Like seriously, what did I do to be stuck with the pair of you?”

“You love us both Bucks, don’t be giving us that.” Eddie reprimanded.

“God, you are like a bonded pair now. How am I supposed to prosper in this kind of environment?” Robin grumbled, throwing herself back into the back seat with a huff. “Why has the universe cursed me with two absolute numbskulls as best friends?”

“Hey! Less of the numbskulls.” Steve complained. “My dumbness is all the concussions. I’m sure you have plenty of opportunities to prosper at all the wild parties you go to. Not my fault you left me to spread your wild oats or whatever it is you get up to in that fancy school of yours.”

“You would know what I get up to if you ever ventured further than Indianapolis.” Robin sniped back. “But you two seem to have made roots here. When was the last time the two of you went over three days without seeing each other?”

“We work together Robs, I don't think that's fair…” Steve started arguing, but Eddie had turned his attention back to the road, the snow was coming down harder now, it gave him time to think about Robin's question.

When was the last time the two of them had spent more than three days apart?

Maybe when Wayne and Eddie had gone on that fishing trip?

Sometimes Eddie spent more time with Steve than he did with Wayne, and they still lived together.

Often when Steve's parents were away, Eddie would crash at Steve’s house, wherever they landed was where they slept. He had shared a bed with Steve Harrington more times than any other living being.

Hu? Now he thought about it, maybe he really was permanently in Steve’s space. He really had fallen into the gap that Robin had left behind that easily. Her old job, her place at Steve's side, her place in Steve's bed.

Eddie had never been like that with any of his other friends as far as he could remember. Maybe when he was little and Wayne had let him sleep over at Jeff's, but they had slept top to tail.

But the first time Steve had grunted at him to ‘just stay put man,’ when he had moved to get up and move himself to the guest room, Eddie hadn’t fought it, he had just settled back in and let Steve get comfortable against his side again.

Steve needed it. Eddie knew he wasn't sleeping well again. And after that first time it had just been a thing that happened. He hadn't questioned it .

Maybe Robin had a point.

Steve had become such an integral part of Eddie’s routine and he hadn’t even noticed it happening.

That led to the question: who was the mysterious man who had imprinted on Steve and left his mark? Because Eddie would have to be aware of them right? If they were always together it wasn’t like a stranger had walked in and whisked him off his feet.

The mysterious man of Steve's dreams itched like an irritation that Eddie couldn't quite reach, and when he looked in the rearview again, it didn’t surprise him to see Steve staring back at him.

**************

“Season’s greetings and salutations.” Eddie said as he darted into the kitchen to get the dustpan and brush to pick up the pine leaves trailing from the front door to the corner next to the fire.

Mr. Harrington looked every bit his son when he shook his head and the small smile creeped upon his face, it was a testament to how often Eddie was in the house that the older man hadn’t even questioned his presence in his humble abode.

Not that you could call the Harrington home humble, it was every bit the show home that Steve’s mom had intended it to be. Mrs. Harrington would have a conniption if she ever visited Wayne’s place, the only interior design magazine that had ever entered the place was being used to prop up the corner of the wonky coffee table.

Ironically, it was the one that featured Mrs. Harrington on page three with her newest grand design.

Perks of being married to an editor, Eddie supposed. But hey, if it stopped him losing his cereal to the floor in the morning it had its uses.

“I thought you were both on the close tonight?” Mr. Harrington asked as Eddie grabbed the cleaning things.

“We were.” He started, and the rest came out in a rush as he rummaged through the cupboard for cleaning stuff, but Richard Harrington seemed to keep up. “But you're leaving tonight and Steve wanted to see you before you left and we had to pick up Robin from the bus station, ‘cause her parents aren't back until ten. There was no way I was letting Steve try to drive the Beemer in this. And then I was roped into getting the tree from Hoppers with him, because that couldn’t have waited till tomorrow, and him and Robin have left a trail of destruction in their wake,” Eddie waved the brush around to show his intentions and the reason for his rush of words, “So you know, I’m left to tidy up that mess… and that’s why, if anyone from head office calls, the snow took the power out.”

Richard Harrington had a pleasant laugh, sweet like honey, another thing he shared with his son. That Eddie had noticed that made the twisting in his chest churn again.

He really needed to look at that a bit more. It couldn't be good.

“I take it that if I walk into my lounge I'm going to be bombarded with Christmas cheer?” He asked, the grin getting bigger.

“Alas, just a naked tree, apparently your grandchildren need to be present to festoon its mighty branches with glitter and gold.” Eddie said sagely. “And that I believe is my punishment tomorrow as I think I’ve displeased his lordship.”

“Ah, just as well Lenore stocked the candy and soda up for the festivities.” Richard said sagely as he sipped his coffee. Eddie knew what was coming next, it was Richard Harrington’s current new obsession. “Have you thought about writing that book yet?”

“Ah, Mr. H, you know I can't spell for shit…”

“And I keep telling you that's what one of my editors is for. Tell me you will at least think about it again over Christmas?” Richard asked, and oh great. There was that pleading look Steve used to get Eddie to do a lot of the heavy lifting. It wasn't as effective when it was blue eyes doing the requesting, it was easier to say no to Richard.

“I'll think about it.” Eddie said as the sound of Mrs. Harrington descending the stairs caused Richard to jump to his feet.

“Good, I just want Steve's-” he cut himself off looking sheepish. It was another one of Steve's traits that he shared with his dad, no brain to mouth filter, Steve was always putting his foot in his mouth, especially around the kids.

Still, Eddie really wanted to know what was at the end of that sentence.

“Steve's what?” Eddie asked just as Lenore Harrington joined them in the kitchen trailing a suitcase behind her that her husband was quick to take off her hands so he could ignore Eddie's question.

“Oh hello Eddie dear, did I hear Steve and Robin?” Lenore asked with a quick hug as she passed en route to the lounge, she didn’t wait for an answer as she sashayed past with an elegance that Steve had not inherited.

“Lenore’s mother is a bit of a drama queen,” Richard said as he followed Eddie and his brush to the hallway. “She’s been on the phone several times already tonight asking us to try to convince Steve and his lovely young lady to come with us.” he explained as Eddie swept up the fallen pine leaves.

“By young lady, I take it she means Robin?” Eddie asked as Richard added the case to the pile by the door.

“Yes. She’s rather old-fashioned Steven’s grandmother, I don’t think she really understands the dynamic between the two of them. She nearly had a heart attack when I moved her precious socialite daughter to Hawkins of all places.” Richard said with a little chuckle to himself. “I keep trying to convince her to come visit, she never does, I would love to see her face when she meets you.”

Eddie didn’t know how to take that, unsure if it was meant as an insult or a complement. Mr. Harrington didn’t seem to notice though as he followed Eddie as he swept the entire trail of pine needles away.

“Dad, are you trying to get Eddie to sign to your label again?” Steve asked as he broke free of his mother’s hug. Evidently the conversation had carried from the kitchen, either that or Steve’s mother was whispering in his ear again.

“Just looking after my future interests Steven. Eddie has talent and he would be an excellent addition to the Harrington family, or do the two of you really intend on spending the prime of your life negotiating late fees for someone else's business?”

“I’m happy if you are Eds?” Steve said as he gave his dad a quick hug, “Some of us aren’t built for jet setting around the world. Well, I’m sure, given half the chance Eddie would be off like a shot as long as it involved his guitar-,”

“I’d always have room for you as my glamorous assistant Stevie, you know this.” Eddie said as he brushed around the base of the tree where the worst of the needles had fallen.

“See what I mean? You can’t separate them, you know, a bit like freezer burned burgers or that weird black mold in the back of the fridge.” Robin piped up from her perch on the end of the sofa. “The longer I’m away, the more tragic their bond becomes.” She lamented, popping a marshmallow in her mouth and chewing it, never once dropping her menacing smile.

Lenore laughed as she pulled on her big winter coat. “Last chance to change your mind, you and Eddie are welcome to join us?”

“See, even you are treating them like a unit. I feel like I’ve been replaced. Have I been replaced, Steve?” Robin huffed as Steve dropped on the sofa next to her, he shot her with a loaded look, and Eddie suddenly felt like whatever conversation the two of them had been having in the car needed to be continued, possibly louder and possibly involving a fair bit of bitching.

Eddie was not stupid enough to get caught in the crossfire of that.

“As much as I appreciate the offer of getting out of dodge for the festive season, Wayne likes to have me about, and I feel like Mr. Harrington needs a few days off trying to wrangle his next big book deal.” Eddie said, handing the dustpan and brush to Steve to finish what Eddie had started.

“Speaking of Wayne, I should get home, I want to see him before he goes on to shift, so I better hit the road.”

Eddie couldn’t read the expression on Steve’s face, but he could tell that Robin was biting her lip to hold back whatever was on her mind. No doubt he was going to get sounded out as soon as he turned up at Steve’s tomorrow. There was no point in fighting the inevitable.

Eddie grabbed his coat and followed Mr. and Mrs. Harrington out to the cars, helping with the bags like the good little boy scout he was.

“Eddie?” Mr. Harrington asked just as he turned to jump back in his truck. Eddie spun on the spot, no matter how much he got on with the Harrington’s he was still deep down aware of the class divide. Permanently torn between needing to fight the hierarchy and knowing that there wasn’t a threat.

“Yeah, Mr. H?” Eddie asked as he pulled his coat tighter around himself.

Richard stepped closer, making sure that his wife couldn’t see him from the car.

“Can you keep an eye on Steve over the next few days? Something’s been up with him these last few weeks and he won’t tell me or his mother what it is.” He asked, and it made Eddie feel a little worried that Steve’s dad was coming to him out of all of his friends to watch him.

“I mean, Robin is back, she will get whatever it is out of him-” Eddie started, not wanting to share the secret that Steve had shared with him, not if Steve hadn’t shared it with his parents yet.

“But you know him best. Just, I don’t know, maybe he will tell you what’s wrong?” Richard said, gripping him on the shoulder and giving it a tight fatherly squeeze.

For the second time that night, Eddie felt like the rug was being pulled out from under him. First Steve telling him about his soulmate and now Richard Harrington saying that Eddie knew Steve best? Robin was right there, and when Steve’s soulmate finally made himself known the two of them would probably descend in the ranks. Although Eddie very much doubted that he would ever outrank Robin in that department.

“Yeah, alright, I will talk to him.” Eddie agreed, the feeling of being watched itched at him. His scar on his neck aching slightly with the cold. “You best get going if this snow gets worse they might ground the flight.”

“True, very true.” Richard said, moving his hand away, waving towards the house as he stepped back to the car. “Merry Christmas Eddie. Think about that book again please.” He said as he got in the car.

When the engine started Eddie moved away to get in his own truck, but not before looking back to the house to see who had been on the receiving end of the wave.

Steve stood in the window, backlit by the harsh overhead light, but it was clear to see he was watching Eddie, his hand resting against his neck.

They held eye contact for a moment before Steve waved and pulled the curtains shut.

Whatever that was about, Eddie would not look at it too hard right now.

Right now he needed to get home to Wayne, then later he could unpack the cluster fuck that had been the last twelve hours.

*************

Ever since Eddie had been old enough to fend for himself over Christmas, Wayne had taken the crap shifts over the holidays. The money was better, often double or triple time, and the two of them weren’t exactly in a place to say no to that back in the day. Now Wayne did the shifts so that the people with little kids could have it off, because that was just the sort of self sacrificing fool that the guy was. After all, Eddie had to get it from someone.

So Wayne had left him in the early hours of Christmas Eve, and Eddie had all the intentions in the world of getting himself to bed and maybe getting some much needed sleep.

Unfortunately, Eddie’s mind had other ideas.

He had finally nodded off just after 6am, his books and notebooks scattered around him as he went through all his notes on soulmates trying to itch that scratch in his brain that was triggered earlier by Steve in the car.

He couldn’t work out how Steve could have met his soulmate, not if he was close enough to them to have confirmed his suspicions in the last few weeks. He was pretty sure that was the strangeness that Mr. Harrington had noticed, and now Eddie was trying to work out if he had seen Steve acting weird around anyone they knew.

Eddie had run through every interaction that they'd had with people since thanksgiving. Maybe it was the new delivery driver? He was cute, if you were into the blond hair and blue eye’s thing. He had muscular arm’s and with all the lifting he did day in day out, and he looked like he was probably a jock in high school. Maybe that was Steve’s type?

What was Steve’s type, anyway? Now that Eddie was looking at it, he wasn’t even sure Steve had a type he jumped around between the Molly Ringwalds and the Sigourney Weaver of this world, but did that apply to guys too?

Was it Jeff? It was a possibility he supposed; they had hung out a bit recently, but Eddie was pretty sure that Jeff was head over ass for the girl that worked at the drive in.

Maybe it was the guy that worked the ticket booth at the drive in? The punk guy that got Eddie's heckles up every time he lent his slutty little waist up against the Beemer.

That would just be a crying shame, Steve lowering himself to the crushing on a punk.

He might have to rethink the whole friendship if Steve ended up being soulmates with someone whose musical taste revolved around only three chords.

The kicker though came when Eddie realized how much the whole thing was upsetting him. And the more he looked at it, the more he was realizing that he wasn't sure where the jealousy was coming from.

His knee jerk reaction had been that he was jealous that Steve had found his soulmate. But now?

Now he was questioning if it wasn't something more, if he wasn't jealous of the fact that Steve had feelings for another man and that man wasn't Eddie himself.

It was making Eddie question everything he knew about himself.

Because he couldn’t say he hadn't looked at other guys. He couldn't stand up and honestly say he hadn't seen photos of Ozzy and felt something more than an admiration for the man.

Did he have a crush on Ozzy Osborne? That would explain a few of the more questionable dreams.

So that opened up another question.

Did he have a crush on Steve?

It was certainly a possibility.

The two of them were constantly in each other's orbit, and they flirted like it was a second language that they were more than fluent in. Only now Eddie wasn’t sure that he hadn’t meant all the things he had been dishing out to Steve on the daily for the last few years.

If would explain the gut churning and the ache he was currently feeling at the thought of Steve having found his soulmate.

What had Robin called it? Bisexual.

Steve liked women and men, apparently that was a thing.

Was that a thing that could apply to Eddie?

He definitely liked women, that was a given, if he was to believe Steve he was getting the most action out of the two of them.

Although Eddie had hit a dry spell that was embarrassing even for a self confessed nerd like himself.

It had been at least nine months since he had to find excuses to sneak out of anyone's bed rather than face the awkward next day conversations.

He had been striking out lately, turning down dates when Steve asked him to hang out, Eddie was running over his last few dates in his head, had he been sabotaging them because they weren't Steve?

The more he looked at it the more likely it seemed.

Eddie knew he was spiraling. Knew if he could just sound out the busy thoughts in his head to someone, he might make them make sense. But the person he would normally run to was the source of his confusion and that left him nowhere to turn.

This definitely wasn't the thing that he and Wayne were finally having that big heart to heart over.

“Yeah Wayne, I think I'm in love with Steve.” even in his head it made him want to cringe and hide away.

Love ?

Oh fuck right off, it wasn't love.

It couldn't be love if he only just realized it was a viable option right ?

Only it wasn't, was it?

Steve had a soulmate. Eddie didn't.

It would be a match made to fail even if there was the smallest chance that Steve liked him back.

Maybe he should just keep his distance?

The idea of not seeing Steve made him ache in a way that he recognized now, it made him feel sick but now he understood what it meant.

And that made it a million times worse.

He had a joint and tried to make his brain stop for just a moment, and it must have worked.

The next thing he knew someone's car was grumbling to life outside in the street and sunlight was streaming through the window.

***********

His new resolution to stay away from Steve hadn't lasted long.

The snow had fallen again during his existential crisis last night and the world seemed merry and bright. Or as bright as it could be when all Eddie wanted for Christmas was an interdimensional rift to open under his feet and the demobats to go three for three on his earthly demise.

Steve had given them both the day off, perks of being the boss, and Eddie had expected to be one of the first to show up at the Harrington home to set about operation Christmas. Yet when he crunched up the driveway his own footprints got lost in the imprints left by the hoard that had evidently already descended. The kids having their own wheels these days was making him feel old .

He let himself in, Steve had left it unlocked to save him the hassle of having to keep getting up every person who pounded on the door.

Not that it would have mattered if the door was still locked. Eddie had a key.

That was another thing to add to his list of confusing things that had happened between him and Steve.

Steve had given him a key in the middle of the night when the nightmares got too bad. He could get in without waking the whole Harrington clan. If Steve rang him in a broken down state Eddie would drive over and let himself in, climb the stairs and hold Steve until he calmed.

Eddie didn't mind, more often than not he was in the same messed up state.

Trembling in the quiet of his and Wayne's new apartment, that would never feel like a home in the way the trailer had.

Steve's parents knew, they didn't seem phased by it.

Not in the way Eddie was sure they should when a guy who was once a wanted murderer wanders down from their son's bedroom first thing in the morning, sleep rumpled and looking for coffee.

It was all a little overfamiliar, and Eddie wasn’t sure how he was supposed to deal with someone else taking that place in Steve's life. Was this how Robin felt when she left for college? Because if it was Eddie understood the tears and the mini breakdown now. It was completely justified.

The absolute chaos he had expected greeted him as he crossed the threshold.

The kids had commandeered the job of dressing the tree. Max was yelling, bossing the boys about as was her God given right, and Will was trying and failing to get the others to decorate the back of the tree as well as the front.

It hung limply towards them threatening a topple under the weight of the many brightly colored baubles and static fairy lights, a pale comparison to the fluffy tree that Eddie and the four armed Steve-Robin beast had blundered through the door the night before.

Max looked just about ready to smack Lucas and Mike with her cane, just to get Will and her point across.

Jane sat on the sofa, a bastion of calm as her and Erica slid popcorn onto string making garlands, eating just as much as they threaded on the needle.

Apart from the ruckus, it made quite the sweet Christmas scene, even with the chaos unfolding.

The kids all had matching sweaters on, no doubt courtesy of Dustin’s mom. Eddie's hunch was confirmed when Robin walked up to him and dumped a neatly wrapped package in his arms.

“Claudia is trying to make this into a thing, and she scares me sooooooo….” Robin said, looking at the two bags of presents that Eddie had brought with him. He wished he had hung fire and left Steve and Robin's gifts in the car. Because Steve was right, he had bought him something pretty and now he was sure it was a stupid idea .

“You gotta be kidding me”

Steve's voice piped up from behind them, and now Eddie had the inkling, he knew exactly what that skip in his heart meant.

“Dustin, stop. You're going to pull the damn thing down, you already stripped the bottom two branches, and Eddie spent ages picking the needles up last night.”

Steve rushed past them both, carefully depositing the tray of hot chocolates on the coffee table as he passed. Erica and Jane wasted no time in grabbing the ones with the most marshmallows whilst the rest of the party were occupied.

Steve Reached out and secured the tree while the others removed some of the heavy ornaments that were causing it to buckle and bow.

“The children never listen.” Robin said sagely as she relieved Eddie of his bag and nudged the present in his hand, indicating he should probably open it.

Eddie was too distracted though, he couldn't stop looking at Steve. It was the first time he had seen him since he had come to terms with the recent development in his life and he was mentally kicking himself for not realizing what any of the obvious feelings he had for Steve had been before.

Eddie caught Steve’s eye, and something in Eddie's stomach swooped like he was about to plummet over the edge of a presapiss. Oh, he was done for.

He was definitely going to die old and alone, watching Steve happily live his life with another man.

If he had worked this out sooner would it have made any difference?

Probably not, Steve was his friend, he had zero romantic interest in Eddie.

Eddie just had to go making everything weird.

Evidently he had been staring too long, Robin dug him in the side again, glancing between Eddie and Steve and the strange staring contest that had started across the lounge.

‘Pathetic’ Robin muttered to herself, then aloud she said “Come on Munson, you're the only one not dressed in a Christmas monstrosity. Strip dude.”

“It's a good job I know you.” Eddie said, ripping the paper from the present and pulling out his own matching festive cheer. “I don't know if I like these bad habits you're learning at that fancy School of yours.”

“They teach me how to get oversized man-boys to do what I tell them.” She said, poking him in the side again with extra vigor.

She was vicious, for someone who's only recreational Sport was soccer, her upper body strength shouldn't be so good.

He quickly pulled his jacket off and yanked the black sweater he had been wearing over his head leaving him in just his faded and worn undershirt he hadn't intended for anyone else to bear witness too. From the sofa Max let off a loud wolf whistle, Eddie flipped her the bird, but he couldn't help glancing to see what Steve's reaction was. From beneath his flop of hair Steve's eyes were fixed on Eddie, and under his gaze Eddie felt himself starting to heat up.

“You've been defiling yourself with the devil's sacrament again?” Robin asked, grabbing his wrist. It shook him from whatever fleeting vision of possible interest he thought he had seen in Steve's eyes as Robin twisted his arm. She held on as she looked closer at his new tattoo. “Either Jeff is getting better with his little pricks, or you put on your big boy pants and went to a professional.”

“Ha ha hilarious.” Eddie said, trying to shake his arm free. “Me and Gareth went to Indi when he was back for Thanksgiving.”

“It's a bit morbid isn't it? Doubling down on the bats?”

“Robin, leave him alone. Come here and help me with this will you?” Steve shouted from across the room. But Robin was more interested in making fun of Eddie, after all she hadn’t seen him since she went away at the beginning of fall, she must be champing at the bit to bring him down a peg or two.

“You can just tell me it looks metal as hell if you like Bucks, you won’t lose any brownie points over it.” Eddie said, tugging his arm back.

“Never said it wasn’t cool, Munson. I just said it was morbid, I mean didn’t they technically kill you?”

“And technically Stevie boy brought me back to life, should I have tattooed a picture of the boy wonder on my arm? I could have gotten him in that nice little sailor outfit the two of you used to wear-” Robin punched him, hard in the shoulder. Her penchant for physical violence making itself known.

“Rob’s for fuck’ sake!” Steve piped up from behind them, as the tree crashed to the ground. The baubles scattering far and wide.

“Sorry! Sorry!” Robin said, rushing to help Steve get the Christmas tree back on its stand straight.

“What was all that about?” Dustin asked as he started scooping the ornaments from the rug, throwing them into the box they had come from.

“Nothing, tree was just too awkward to hold on my own and Robin abandoned me to beat up Eddie, instead of helping.” Steve grumbled, shooting Robin death glares.

Robin wasn’t showing any sort of remorse, holding the tree and watching as Eddie finally pulled on his Christmas sweater.

“None of you are fit to decorate this fine specimen, everyone knows you put the enormous balls near the bottom and you always decorate the ample behind.” Eddie said walking over and hooking a fat red bauble out of the fallen mess, he got close to Steve as he deliberately pressed close to get to the back of the tree, nudging Steve’s ass as he passed. God how had he not noticed just how loaded his flirting really had been getting.

“So, are you talking about personal experience then?” Steve asked, as Eddie hooked his ornament in place.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, big boy.” Eddie teased, surprised to see the tips of Steve’s ears flushing red. Was that a recent occurrence? Has that happened before? Eddie really hadn’t been looking, but now he was and it was something he was determined to investigate further.

Around them the kids had peeled off and were now diving into the hot chocolate that Steve had left on the table. He knew that their interest in actual manual labor would only last as long as it took for candy and chocolate to get involved.

Robin grabbed the discarded box of ornaments and divided her haul as the three of them worked quietly, Eddie acutely aware of every time his and Steve’s hands brushed his as they dressed the branches or maneuvered around the other.

Now Eddie was looking for it, it was surprising how often he and Steve casually touched. A hand to the bottom of his back, Steve leaning up tight against him the long line of his chest curving into Eddie’s back as he stretched to put the smaller ornaments towards the top of the tree.

Eddie was almost certain that Steve was lingering in his space more than normal, he could feel Robin watching them. It felt like he was under a microscope far worse than any time the kids had tried to trip him up and get the juicy details of his next campaign.

Every time he caught her looking he would be met with the smug ‘ I know something you don’t know’ look that she had learned from Erica and honed under Steve’s careful guidance.

“Have I got something on my face?” He asked as he hooked a small robin on the branch in front of her. “It’s rude to gawk you know, I might start getting the wrong sort of ideas about you Bucks,”

“I would rather gut myself and use the entrails to summon a demogorgon than look at you in any way that wasn’t just platonic you weirdo.” She straightened up the ornament, glancing over to where Steve had just stuck his head in one of the old Family Video shipping boxes to hunt out the remnants of last year's tinsel. “Which is more than I can say for you and Mr. Bubble butt.” She stage whispered as she lent into his space.

Eddie shot a glance over at the table where the kids had gathered, too busy fighting over the toppings for the Christmas cookies that Will had just gotten out of the oven, to pay much attention to what was happening over by the tree.

“Just because Steve… is … you know… doesn’t mean that he’s going to fawn about like a damsel in distress around any guy with a pulse.” Eddie chided under his breath.

“Never said he was. He might be a dingus, but he’s a dingus with standards. I wasn’t talking about him. I was on about you, what’s gotten into you tonight, you're normally a lot more covert when you’re scoping out the Harrington goods.” Robin goaded, “You can’t seriously think you're being subtle about it.”

Eddie tried to defend himself but he couldn’t exactly deny that he had just seconds before been staring at Steve’s ass in his stupid skin tight Levi, he opened his mouth to protest but nothing came out. He couldn't lie to Robin, she was too clever for subterfuge.

“It is a bubble butt, “ he settled on in lieu of finding a way to address her observations.

“That you can’t stay away from apparently. You don't have to say anything, but you know, if you need to talk about it, I don’t really share a brain with him you know?” Robin said quietly with a shrug.

“Thanks Robin,” he said earnestly.

“You looking for Narnia at the bottom of that box Steve?” Robin yelled suddenly, breaking whatever heartfelt moment the two of them were having.

“I can think of better ways to come out of the closet Robs’, ones that don't involve candy that tastes like perfume.” Steve said as he emerged from his quest, hands full of tinsel and fairy wire .He beckoned Dustin and Erica over to add it to the tree. No matter how much Steve liked to pretend he didn’t have favourites, Eddie knew better. They ignored him completely of course, too involved in debating who deserved the cookie that had come out of the oven looking comedically phallic shaped.

“Come on, let's deck this baby and then see if they have left us any cock cookies to decorate.” Eddie said, reaching out to grab a handful of shredded silver.

“Right after we dick the halls?” Steve asked as he tried to hide a bald patch with some of the silver and red tinsel.

“Well, you have to, right before you jingle balls, especially if you want a white christmas…” Eddie reasoned, taking extra joy in the way that Robin gagged before throwing a plastic baby Jesus at him.

Eddie watched as Steve and Robin started lobbying clumps of glitter at each other laughing and giggling like little kids, although they managed to avoid hitting the tree in their play fight thankfully, Eddie wasn't convinced he had it in him to decorate the thing again.

It made his heart happy to see Robin and Steve like this, screwing about and looking the fool with his best friend.

Could Eddie deal with it if this was all he got to have?

Maybe he was confusing friendship for love, after all Steve had made the same mistake when it came to Robin. Finding answers on a bathroom floor was all well and good but Eddie didn't think that would work the same between him and Steve.

Maybe he would be lucky. Maybe he would get to hold on to this. To feel like he was part of something good, even when Steve’s other half joined them. Eddie was sure more than ever that nobody could be On the receiving end of one of Steve's longing looks and not cave in at the first flutters eyelid , still he dreaded the day a forth wheel joined them.

He didn't have much time to wallow in his own self pitty, soon he had a face full of tinsel and he was drawn into the fray.

*******

It was getting dark when they finally got all the decorations in place, the kids had decided that now the complicated bit of untangling the mess off lights and cleaning up the deluge of pine needles was tackled by the ‘older kids’ (Eddie refused to let anyone call him an adult) they would all join in, fighting over who got to put the star on the top of the tree.

“Technically, it should be Steve, I mean it is his house.” Max reasoned, glaring at Dustin who was currently in possession of the shiny metal adornment. The man in question glared at her before handing it over to Steve.

“How generous.” Steve snarked, as he turned to the tree and reached up to tuck the star in its rightful place.

“Hey Steve?” Dustin asked.

“Okay, okay …I’ll let you turn the lights on,” Steve said exasperated.

“No, I mean yes I want to turn the lights on. But this isn’t about that. When did you get a tattoo?” Dustin asked, reaching out and grabbing Steve’s right arm, pushing the sleeve of his sweater up to look at the skin underneath.

You could hear a pin drop, Eddie didn’t think he had ever known the kids be this quiet ever, all eyes drawn to where Dustin was holding Steve’s arm out for inspection.

Silently someone turned on the fairy lights, giving everyone a clear view of the six highly stylized bats on the inside of his right arm.

That was when all hell broke loose.

“Right. Everyone just be quiet.” Robin yelled over the commotion. “Everyone out … not you Eddie.” she added, pushing him towards Steve.

“But presents…” someone complained, probably Dustin, Eddie didn't have it in him to look away from the damning evidence illuminated in reds and greens.

“The purple bag is all the kids’ presents from me,” Eddie said, not looking up. He knew all eyes were on him and Steve and for the first time ever he really didn't want to be the center of attention.

“Yeah, that one with a snowman on has mine in, dish them out between you.” Steve waved his hand in the general direction of the pile of gift bags on the sideboard.

Eddie traced the movement, yup that was definitely his tattoo etched on Steve's skin.

Fuck.

Eddie didn’t know what was happening around him other than Robin was ushering the kids out of the door as fast as humanly possible. He could hear Dustin huffing at being made to leave, but he also heard Robin threatening to expose his deepest darkest secrets if he didn't get a move on.

Any other time that would have piqued Eddie's curiosity, but right now he couldn't make sense of anything enough to form any coherent thought.

“Call me if you need me.” Robin yelled as she slammed the door behind her.

“Alright-” “Okay” Both of them shouted after her. To be fair, she could have been speaking to either of them, but Eddie had a feeling she meant both.

The house was calm now. The crackling sound of the old and lightly scratched Christmas record accompanying the popping of the logs on the fire.

It had been a long time since a silence between him and Steve had felt awkward, but Eddie wasn’t sure how to fill this one. It stretched, and he ached to fill it but his mind was racing, trying to patch together everything that had happened to him since spring break of ‘86. It was as if the tiny bit of string that had been holding the box of his realisation closed had just frayed and the box had split at the seams. Leaving him to wade through the deluge of information in a new light.

“So,” Eddie started eventually, when the quiet became too much.

“So,” Steve echoed back.

“Robin’s kind of right. It is a little morbid.” Eddie nodded at Steve’s arm, chancing a step forward to get a better look. It wasn’t ink under his skin, it was dark red, almost black, but fading at the edges.

It was fading at least, Eddie felt guilt building up, Steve had enough scars, he didn’t need more, no matter how temporary this blip on his skin was.

“Yeah, well, I was expecting it to have disappeared by now, but apparently you have a habit of sticking around.” Steve huffed.

It had been almost four weeks, and the bats on Steve’s arms looked like they were fresh. He looked like he wanted to say more, but bit his lip trying to hold back the words. He stepped back, pulling his sweater back down over his hands.

“Trust Dustin to be observant for the first time in his life.” He said, but his voice sounded distant, like he was on the verge of tears.

“If you want to leave, I wouldn’t blame you.” Steve said as he turned his attention to the tree, fiddling with one of the paper stars that hung on the nearest branch.

“Like I said yesterday, The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one.”

Eddie really wished that Steve would look at him. He might have hidden away the newest scar under the sleeves of his sweater, but Eddie could see the silver markings tracing round his neck as they flecked red and green in the shimmer of the Christmas lights.

He instinctively brought his hand up to his own neck, tracing his own scar, the way it twisted up into the the back of his hairline and up behind his ear. Steve’s was similar but just how similar?

They had both grown their hair out to hide the worst of it so it was well hidden but…

Curiosity got the better of him, reaching out he gently brushed the hair from behind Steve’s left ear, tracing the end of the scar his fingers swooped up behind and into Steve's hairline. An almost perfect copy of Eddie's second most dangerous wound.

Under his touch Steve froze, but his fingertips betrayed Steve’s heart. The pulse thrummed through his skin at a rapid rate, making Eddie’s heart want to chase and match the rhythm.

“You do know that quoting nerd shit at me is going to have the opposite of a negative effect on me right?” He asked, hoping that for once Steve would just see through his words.

“Stevie? Yesterday you said…” Eddie trailed off, yesterday Steve had said a lot of things.

Eddie had become overly very familiar with them all in the last twenty four hours.

But the shining factoids that were barreling around his mind at a billion miles a second, causing galaxy’s to implode and die as fast as they were born, were this:

Steve liked men.

Steve had found his soulmate.

Steve had feelings for his soulmate that he thought were not returned.

Eddie liked men.

Eddie may well have found his soulmate, right under his nose and in plain sight.

Eddie definitely had feelings for Steve, it was very much returned.

“I hadn’t… I didn’t…” Eddie was lost for words, a rare occurrence, normally he had way too many words and nothing to do with them. But finding the right ones here, so as not to screw this up, felt like he was pushing a boulder uphill and the landslide of destruction was fighting him every step of the way.

“Steve… in the car… you said he was oblivious. I… I… was oblivious.”

“Yeah well, surprise.” Steve said weakly, almost on the edge of tears. “I’m your soulmate, sorry it's not some metal chick with huge tits that loves all your nerd shit.” He tried to pull away from where Eddie held him, but a simple tug at the base of Steve’s hair stopped him in his tracks.

“You are perfectly nerdy, and you have fantastic boobies Harrington, You also happen to be several chapters ahead in this book we call life. You gotta let me catch up, I only found out I was allowed to like guys and girls yesterday. The old grey matter isn’t what it used to be. I’m processing a lot.”

Steve turned to look at him, pressing his cheek into Eddie’s open hand, Eddie’s fingers still tracing the twisting scar tissue. The move felt familiar, even if Eddie was sure they had never done this before, a calm settling through him like thick toffee in his veins.

“And do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Like guys as well?” Steve sounded so hopeful that Eddie was sure he wasn’t going to get shot down from a great height. Steve had Eddie’s marks all over him and Eddie had just been to stupid to see what was staring him in the face all this time.

Eddie wanted to see Steve smile again, catch that starlight from the tree sparkling in his eyes rather than in his tears.

“I like you Steve. And I like you a lot. But you're not just any guy are you? You’re you, and apparently the universe thinks I’m good enough to make you happy.”

“And you do Eds, nobody else has ever made me laugh so hard I want to puke. Or at least nobody ever made me laugh so much I split my stitches. Nobody else has stupidly dived head first into danger with a hero complexion just to put me first.” He shot Eddie a loaded look as if to say ‘ am I wrong?’ and Eddie couldn’t argue the facts. “Someone's gotta keep saving your life. If fate says it’s me, who am I to argue?” Steve said with a wet sniffle, yet the smile was starting to creep back on his face. Eddie carefully wiped away the tears that had dropped to Steve’s cheeks with the sleeve of his Christmas sweater.

“Fate could have clued me in a little bit sooner,” Eddie said, chancing a step closer to Steve, pushing Steve’s sleeve up and run his fingers over the bats, curling behind them he traced his fingers over the raised scar they both shared from luring away the demodog from Max’s hospital room. A shared sacrifice, a decision made together. Was that the point this had taken hold?

Just how long had the two of them been entwined like this?

As if reading Eddie’s mind Steve took his free hand and lifted it to Eddie’s neck pressing gently at the left of his adams apple.

“It was such a tiny nic, I don’t think you even noticed it, but the bottle was pretty sharp when you pressed it to my neck. I felt it then, the first spark of something, an adrenaline rush pulsing under my skin like electricity. Dad had tried to explain it to me before, but I wrote it off as a load of bullshit. But there you were, living proof that the shit dad pedals for a living was actually true. But you were so scared and so stressed that I don’t think you even registered the scar showing on your skin, let alone the elevated heart rate and the scar had faded by the time we jumped in the lake.”

“The boat house? That’s where the bond happened?”

“Yeah, and I thought you were such an asshole, it had to be some cosmic joke. A twisted mistake, that Eddie Munson was my soulmate. But then you dived into the lake after me, and you kept just knowing what I was thinking when we were in the Upside Down. It was like you knew exactly what I was going to say and do even when I wasn't sure myself. Then I couldn’t believe you would run into danger to keep Dustin safe. To keep me and the others safe, when you hardly knew us.” Steve said, inching his way more into Eddie’s space. “Only my stupid ass soulmate would go being a hero when he had been told in no uncertain terms not to do that. ‘Cause that’s exactly what I would have done too”

Realization dawned on Eddie like the sun coming out from behind the darkest of rain clouds. It had been Steve’s voice he had followed back from the brink of death.

“It was you, you called me back.”

“Yeah, well Dustin worships you dude. I couldn’t just let you go and die on me.”

“Oh, so you only saved me so you didn’t have to be a single father, I understand.”

“No you dipshit, I saved you cause you slipping away was the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. And I’ve had several concussions and had part of my stomach sewn back together in a field hospital.”

“You say the most romantic things baby.” Eddie said with a grin, “Intestines are sexy.”

“You are so weird.” Steve said with a smile, his thumb stroking the length of Eddie’s matching scar.

“You’re the weird one that keeps saving me with your creepy soulmate powers, don’t go blaming-” Steve cut him off, shoving his hand over Eddie’s mouth and rolling his eyes with a sniff, the last of the tears now gone. It took everything in Eddie’s power not to lick his palm.

“And I would save you a million times more, because for some insane reason I’m extremely glad the fates decided you’re my other half, even if you are a feral racoon of a man.”

“Mmnsnatmuccun”

“What?” Steve asked, removing his hand.

“I said, I’m not a raccoon.” Eddie answered, letting himself be brave and pulling Steve towards him by his waist.

“I’ve seen you eat from the trash dude, definitely raccoon behaviour.” Steve said with a smirk. Letting himself be pulled in.

“It was one peanut butter cup, and the bin was brand new.” Eddie said in his defence, “Anyway I think that says more about you than it does me, I mean you’re the one who wants to kiss someone who ate something out of the trash.”

“Well you did say I was weird,” Steve reasoned as he lent in closer, “But you're right. I really want to kiss you Eddie, I have done for a long time.”

“Then we better make sure we aren't about to be invaded by little green men from Mars, ‘cause I really want to kiss you-” This time Steve cut him off with his lips. Eddie definitely liked it a lot better than the palm of his hand.

It was a sweet thing, tentative in a way Eddie hadn’t been expecting, but it felt different to every other kiss he’d had to date, the gentle thrum of belonging radiating from the soft press of Steve’s lips to his own.

Steve’s hands twist up into his hair, grounding him and deepening the kiss, pulling and pushing against each other until Eddie could taste the chocolate on Steve’s tongue and feel his body pressed hard against him.

It was all too much and not even a tiny bit enough.

All too soon Steve broke the kiss, his soft breath ghosting Eddie’s lips as he started to pull away.

“Nope, get back here.” Eddie muttered pitifully, pulling Steve back towards him. “Just so we're on the same page.If you look up the words oblivious, scared and idiot they all have my name next to them in the dictionary. Right under the entry that Robin has edited to deem me pathetic.”

“How would you know? You don’t know how to use a dictionary, that's why dad keeps telling you he will get you an editor.” Steve said with a chuckle, moving to pull Eddie closer.

“Don’t you start sweetheart.” Eddie softly scalded. “I can say no to your dad. But you start batting eyelashes at me and I’m done for.”

“He’s just looking out for you… for us.” Steve said bashfully. “He’s practically married us off already if you hadn’t guessed.”

Suddenly Mr. Harrington’s fumbling words made more sense, the insistence that he wanted to help Eddie in his writing career, the way he hadn’t battered an eyelid that first time Eddie had sauntered downstairs scars out in search of caffeine.

“How long has your dad known?” Eddie asked wearily, aware that he may well be the last person to have picked up on the glaringly obvious.

Steve itched at the scar on his neck, and now that Eddie knew they were connected, he could feel the ghost of it on his skin. Just how many nights had Steve been lying awake thinking of him, because the tingling was like a hug as it washed through him.

“Since you were in a coma the first time? ” Steve said sheepishly, “I swear other than Robin I didn’t mention it to anyone else… If you didn’t want me I didn’t want to become a pity case. Have you seen Dustin aim for sympathy? It’s like watching a muppet show real emotion, it makes me uncomfortable.”

“Of course you told Robin, I wouldn’t expect anything else, at least that explains why you got all weird whenever I brought up your soulmate” Eddie wasn’t sure how to process the fact that Mr. Harrington had known about this since 86 and had managed to keep his mouth shut about the whole thing since then.

“But Still. How did your dad know?”

Steve looked at Eddie dumbfounded, “Eddie, did you ever look to see who wrote the books you have been hoarding in your dragon cave? The ones about soulmates that you think nobody but you knows about?”

Eddie had not in fact looked, not even once, but now he was questioning if that was a major oversight on his behalf.

“Dad has been doing research and writing about Soulmates for the best part of twenty years now,” Steve said, pulling him in from the waist this time, taking the lead. “I was confused, because up until that point, I hadn’t really thought that my soulmate could be a man, let alone someone I thought was the very definition of straight. Turns out fate, just like my parents, doesn't really give a shit if I love another dude, just as long as it makes me happy.” Steve laughed. “And just so you know, him and Uncle Wayne have been plotting behind your back, I think I get you for like … two pigs and a packet of magic beans.”

“Wayne knows?”

“He has his suspicions.” Steve admitted. And yeah maybe Wayne did suspect something, his old man knew him better than he knew himself.

But now Eddie knew what he wanted, understood all the strange feelings in the pit of his stomach and the way his heart raced now was all down to the man who was holding him like he was something precious.

“Wayne knows to barter better than that, I’m worth at least three chickens, a pig and a cow, the only beanstalk I’ll be climbing at any point is you,” Eddie said with a flirty wink.

“Speedrunning the whole bisexual thing are we?” Steve gulped.

“I'm Stevesexual, If that isn’t a thing?” He asked, "I'm making it a thing.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works, baby.” Steve said , and that baby tugged at the part of his brain marked horny and flicked a few switches for good measure.

“Is it not in one of your dad’s books?”

“If it was, you would have found it by now.” Steve said as he lent in and stole another kiss. Eddie’s heart sped up, this was what he had been missing, this was the thing he had been searching for not knowing that he had already found it.

“Another disclaimer,” Eddie said when they broke apart. “I was in love with you before I found out you were my soulmate, so don't think this is all just because it's something I think the universe wants from me.”

“When have you ever done anything someone expected Eds,” Steve said with a dopey grin, “I can't even get you to follow a rota, let alone someone invisible forces master plan. Why did you think I was so scared you weren't going to like me back?”

“Well that's just crazy thinking, this time the universe didn't have to help, I think I'd have fallen for you no matter what Stevie,”

Steve’s hands started to wander, and somewhere in Eddie’s peripheral, he heard the record skip to the end of the last song, its gentle hiss accompanied by the soft but hungry sounds Steve was making in the back of his throat as he kissed him deeply.

“You got anywhere you need to be?” Steve asked as he came up for breath, “Or…”

Eddie smirked and tugged them towards the stairs.

“What about the presents?” Steve questioned as they passed the hallway table.

“It's not christmas day until tomorrow. You’re trinkets will wait until morning sweet prince,” Eddie said, ushering for Steve to ascend the steps after him.

“I thought whores would have their trinkets?” Steve asked.

“You can be both.” Eddie said, matching Steve's teasing tone. “Now if you wouldn't mind, I would like to assess just how many of our scars actually match.” He said with a loaded wink, acting a lot more confident than he actually felt. He was a showman after all.

“Merry Christmas to me?” Steve asked and he was honest to god blushing now, how had Eddie missed this for so long it was adorable.

“Merry Christmas to us both, baby, and here's to many more.” He said with a kiss as he pulled Steve into his room.

#steddiewinterexchange #steddie #stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #eddie/steve #steddie fic #steddie fics

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ewanmitchellcrumbs · 2 days ago

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To Walk the Old Path

Pairing: Otto Hightower x Lia Costayne (OFC) Warnings: Slightly smutty. Word count: ~1.5k

Summary: Otto is displeased with Lia's choice of attire for Helaena and Aegon's wedding, but she always gets her own way. Part of the Fire on the Mountain universe, but could be read as a standalone (this is a significant jump into the future from chapter one and likely won't feature in the series itself)

Author's note: Day ten of Smuffmas - dressing up and dry humping. No tag list. Follow @fics-by-ewanmitchellcrumbs and turn on post notifications.

Lia sat at her vanity table, the rings on her fingers catching the light as she moved them across the soft fabric of the bell sleeve of her gown. She had had it specially made in the colours of House Costayne; the golden satin had been meticulously embroidered with black roses, and its neckline plunged just enough to emphasise the subtle curve of her breast without the risk of being considered unseemly. It made her feel beautiful, the way it clung tight to her waist and then widened again at her hips, giving volume to her skirts. It was an unashamed display of her femininity, an affirmation that she was now a woman – a powerful woman.

“The First to Rise,” she uttered her house words quietly to herself, as she adjusted the silver chalice brooch that fastened her bodice at the front.

“Are you certain you wish to wear it down, my lady?” Marybel asked. The handmaiden fussed behind Lia, teasing her long, raven curls with a boar bristle brush. “It is not customary for ladies to wear their hair loose on such occasions.”

“Fuck what is customary,” Lia replied with a playful smirk, lightly swatting Marybel’s hands away as she turned to look at her over shoulder. “It is bad enough I should have to attend something so farcical, I will not have one of your awful braids tugging mercilessly at my scalp the entire day too.”

Lia’s sharp words were often enough to send most servants scurrying from her chambers, red faced with humiliation. Marybel was not most servants though, and that was precisely why Lia chose to keep her so close.

The handmaiden huffed through her nose in quiet amusement. She leaned over Lia’s shoulder as she turned around again, and placed the brush back on top of the vanity table. “As you wish, my lady.”

Lia’s eyes watched in the looking glass as the door to her chambers swung open behind them both, and she felt Marybel stiffen in silent discomfort as the tall, imposing figure of Otto Hightower stepped through.

“Leave us,” Lia uttered quietly, giving Marybel’s hand a gentle squeeze.

The handmaiden nodded, turning and leaving the room with hurried steps that took her in a wide semi circle in order to avoid the Hand of the King. Otto did not say a word, even as the door thudded closed.

She did not move, did not acknowledge his presence, simply observed as he slowly stalked about the room in his forest green, crushed velvet finery with his freshly polished hand pin gleaming brightly upon his chest. She knew precisely why he was here – he had come to hurry her along, though he would never dare say the words aloud, knowing they would have the opposite effect of what he desired.

She could see it in the way his fingers brushed against the backs of the chairs beside the fireplace. Hurry up.

His brow was slightly furrowed, and his shoulders tense, a sign that he was annoyed. You are making us late.

Finally, once he had walked a full circuit of the room, he settled into a high backed chair by the hearth, leaning forward to grasp the pewter wine jug and pour himself a goblet of Arbor gold. Still, she ignored him, making a show of pretending she was readying herself, as she toyed with her hair, stealing a glance at her husband every so often in the reflective surface.

“Is that what you intend to wear?” Otto eventually asked, to Lia’s delight – he had given in first. He always did.

“Of course it is,” she insisted, rising from the vanity and stepping slowly towards the seating area around the fireplace, where Otto reclined. Despite his attempt to appear relaxed, she could see how tense he was in how tightly he gripped his wine cup. “Do you not think I look nice?”

She made a show of spreading out the skirts, swaying slightly to allow the drape of the fabric to move with her, all the while looking at him with a pleased grin, as she saw him shift in his seat, his gaze raking over her appreciatively.

“You look beautiful,” Otto admitted grudgingly, taking a sip of his wine and swallowing thickly, “you know you do. But that is not the gown that we agreed you would wear today.”

“I agreed nothing,” she corrected him with a roll of her eyes, “I do not like what you picked out for me. It is unflattering.”

“Then choose something else,” he said matter of factly, setting his wine down upon the table in front of him and fixing her with a piercing stare.

“Something green you mean?” Her flesh prickled with irritation as she narrowed her eyes at him, crossing her arms defensively across her middle.

“Hightower house colours,” Otto said darkly. His fingers grasped the wooden arms of the chair tightly, a subtle indication that he was losing his patience. Lia did not care.

“I am not a Hightower,” she answered with a soft shake of her head and a shrug.

“Today is about unity,” Otto rose from his chair suddenly, his nostrils flared in annoyance as he pointed an accusatory finger at her, “not about you clinging to your principles like a stubborn child!”

“Unity?!” Lia spat back, her own voice rising as her anger flared. She uncrossed her arms, her hands balling into fists as she strode towards him defiantly. “If today were about unity then you would have allowed Rhaenyra to wed Jacaerys to Helaena. Instead, you are making this disgusting display of marrying brother to sister, and there has never been more divide between us all.”

A flash of anger appeared in Otto’s hazel eyes as quickly as it disappeared again. He drew in a steadying breath, schooling his features before replying, his voice calmer than it had been previously. “It is at the request of the King that his children shall be married, to strengthen the bloodline of House Targaryen.”

“House Targaryen?” Lia scoffed, tilting her head as her blue eyes glittered with amusement. “Did Viserys tell you that between doses of milk of the poppy? Spare me, Otto, for if that were the case, surely you would insist I dress in red and black?”

“You test my patience, Lia,” Otto glowered, inhaling deeply.

“And you test mine,” Lia stepped forward, placing the flat of her hand against his velvet covered chest and pushed him – not hard enough to unsteady him, but enough for him to know she wanted him to sit.

Otto did just that, resuming his sitting position in the high backed chair beside the hearth. Swiftly, Lia climbed into his lap, positioning herself to straddle his lap, lifting her skirts just enough so that the bare flesh of her womanhood pressed flush against his thigh. A sense of satisfaction settled over Lia as she felt his breath hitch, his large hands coming to rest upon the swell of her hips.

She leaned in close, the scent of pine oil and leather filling her nostrils as the tip of her nose brushed against the coarse hair of his beard, making her throb with desire. Reaching up, she stroked her fingers through it, caressing his jaw as she spoke softly to him.

“Now listen to me, I am your wife, not a pawn to be used for your political gain. Is that understood?”

She punctuated her point with a subtle roll of her hips, exhaling a shaky breath at the friction against her sensitive pearl. She laid her free hand upon his shoulder, keeping the other cupped within his beard, tilting his face to look at her.

Otto’s expression had softened considerably, his eyes hooded and filled with affection as he looked upon her. His hands aided her movements against him, gently squeezing the plushness of her flesh through her gown. “You are incorrigible.”

“Mmmm,” she hummed in agreement, her breaths growing heavy as she continued her lazy rocking against him, “and I shall wear what I please.”

Her hand dropped from his shoulder to snake between them, her fingers immediately seeking out and finding the hardness that strained against the laces of his breeches. She palmed the rigid length gently, continuing to fuck herself against his thigh as she watched with delight as his lips parted, a soft groan escaping them.

“I do not answer to you,” she whispered breathlessly, her movements becoming more erratic as she felt the coil of tension in her belly grow taut. The insistent rubbing of his trousers upon her delicate bundle of nerves built a steadily growing ache within her, that she was eager to chase to its end. “I do not answer to anyone.”

“As you wish,” Otto breathed, his head falling back against the chair with a soft thud as his eyes fluttered closed.

Lia grinned, squeezing his hardness more firmly, eliciting a hiss from him. He moved her more roughly against him, and the ache became more prevalent until the coil within her snapped. She stilled her movements, her body shuddering against Otto’s. White hot waves of ecstasy rippled through her, making her heat convulse uncontrollably as she cried out in pleasure.

She rested her forehead against Otto’s, panting softly, moving her hand away from his erection and placing it back upon his shoulder to steady herself. Despite her boneless state, she felt triumphant. Marriage was all too often a battlefield, but Lia prided herself upon being an excellent strategist. She had won this, and not for the first time.

Otto’s eyes fluttered open, a soft smile playing upon his lips as he regarded her with fondness. “You shall be the death of me.”

“But not today,” Lia quipped, shifting off of his lap and adjusting her skirts as she stood. It was then that she spotted the damp patch of arousal that she had left upon his trouser leg. “And it appears to be you who needs to get changed.”

#otto hightower x ofc #otto hightower x oc #otto hightower #otto hightower smut #otto hightower imagine #otto hightower fan fiction #otto hightower fanfiction #otto hightower fanfic #otto hightower fan fic #house of the dragon #hotd #hotd fan fiction #hotd fanfiction #hotd fanfic #hotd fan fic

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fawninthesnow · 3 days ago

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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐞��𝐢𝐧𝐞: Part 3

𐙚 Emperor Geta x Fem Reader! 𐙚 18+

Summary: You are the daughter of General Marcus Acacius. You and your family are brought to the palace due to unrest outside of the city. For the first time in weeks, you are alone with Emperor Geta in his chambers.

Warnings/contains: dom fem, f4m, teasing, pinning, size kink, praise, idealization, biting, edging, obsession, not proof read

Word Count: 2.3k

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You found yourself in the forest beyond your home, walking through the crisp fall leaves as you read from a storybook. The forest was quiet besides from a few chattering birds and the sound of the wind. Something felt off today, rather, your father was being quiet. Whenever he was quiet, you knew there was something afoot.

It had been a month since your first trip to the palace and you had not seen the scrawny Emperor since then. Part of you missed him. The other part grew irritated with the thought of his existence.

However, at the palace, you plagued his thoughts. You were everything. He saw your silhouette in the shadows of the palace. Vases took your shape, as did the waves in the water in fountains. He heard your voice through the halls and your laugh in his chambers at night. Your hands were on his skin like the handwoven robes from his closet and jewels from faraway places. The feel of your breasts and waist. Your height. You embodied glamor, femininity, and Grandeur.

Day in and day out, like a fiend, he replayed the times you spoke to him. Even if you were rather rude, he felt as if he deserved it. You had not cared to respect him as greater than life. To Geta, that was the sexiest thing a woman could do.

He sat on his throne, wearing the crown you disrespected and disregarded. He spreads his thighs, attempting to assert some kind of dominance in his palace. His head in his hands, the man listened as the advisors ahead of him spoke of change in the city and of riots along the borders of rome.

Although he should have cared, his mind was distracted. His brother entered the throne room carrying his animal upon his shoulder and a bowl of fruit shavings. “Brother, look! It is Dundas! She can speak, just wait!” This only pushed him over the edge with rage.

“Stop this!” His once excited brother grumbled, caressing Dundas. The advisors went silent. “Clear the room.” He said softly. “Leave the room!” He commanded, “Everyone!”

The group of advisors left the throne room after emperor Caracalla.

In your bedroom, you lie in your bundle of sheets, playing with candles on the nightstand, testing the fire with your fingertips. In a sudden a burst, your father, mother and a group of guards entered your bedroom. “[Y/n], get dressed.” A few servants followed, collecting your clothes.

“Dress yourself, my love.” Your mother placed a dress onto your bed and blew out the candles on your nightstand. You quickly dressed behind your privacy screen.

“What is this about?” You asked, coming from behind the screens.

“We will discuss it later.”

“But, Father, it is the middle of the night,” You nearly laughed. Your eyes shifted to his hip, “Why do you wear your sword?”

Your mother led you outside, “Keep quiet.” That was rather hard for you to do. Quiet? No. You were the questions child, always a word on your tongue. But due to the atmosphere of everyone, you figured it was best. You were placed on your mother’s horse, and she sat behind your father on his. With your father’s command, you were led to the inner city.

The city was quiet and still. Only the sounds of the calvary’s horses and your own breathing filled your ears. A chill ran down your spine as the cold front blew freezing air onto your skin. You drew the hood of your fur cape over your head, dying to ask your father what took place here.

After arriving at the palace, you and your mother were escorted to the throne room. “Where do they stand now?” You sneered at the sound of the emperor’s voice. You and your mother bowed in his presence. He looked to your father, walking up to him in night robe. The throne room was dark, and the only sounds were the wind, and the voices of men.

“They have gathered around the amphitheater; others, outside of the city.” You listened in although they spoke by the throne. “Our soldiers are more than capable-“

“No! Listen to me! I am not stupid. There are more protesters than there are soldiers!”

“My Emperor, if I may, please do not let their hysteria get to you!”

The emperor’s eye twitched, “Get out of my palace! Go fix this, Acacius!” Your father bowed and dismissed himself along with his soldiers. “And you!” The emperor pointed at your mother, “Get out of my sight. Take that minx of a daughter with you.” He spat. You angrily stepped to him. He gulped, although confident you would not react too harshly in front of your mother.

“[Y/n]!” Your mother called. You huffed, pressing the heel of your shoe onto his bare toes.

“What is going on?! Someone, answer me!” For a moment, he nearly obeyed your command, however, your mother pulled your arm, leading you to a guest chamber to rest.

Your mother paced the room, holding her hands under her chest as she walked. You lay in the bed, not looking at her. “That is no way to speak to an emperor! And my gods! You stepped on him! Just wait until your father hears this! He will be livid!” She muttered something to herself, “We will be banished, we will! With what is happening at the boarder?! Your father will be to blame.”

“What *is* happening at the border, mother?”

“Riots. The people are hungry.”

“Father said-”

Your mother groaned, “The crops are dying, and all the good crops are being sent to the inner city. To these citizens. To the palace.” You sat up on the bed.

“What does that mean for us? For the emperors?”

She shook her head and spoke softer, “…I do not know. But food is wasted every day here. There is no way the people will remain calm.”

“…why all of a sudden?”

“The emperors were cut off from trading with the east, therefore cutting off food supply to the citizens of the greater part of the empire. These wars. No one wants to share food with their conqueror.” You sighed. You knew they were idiots, but this was extreme. It only proved to you that they must be out of their minds. Especially Geta. You rose from bed and left the chambers. “Where are you going?”

“Father said there is nothing to worry about. I trust him.”

“I am simply worried about *us*.”

“Mother, rest. I need to get some air.” ‘She is so much like her father.’ She thought. Your mother agreed and began to prepare for bed. Through the halls of the quiet palace, you paced towards the back, to the emperors’ chambers. The halls were heavily guarded compared to before and their swords were drawn instead of sheathed. As you passed, guards bowed, respecting you as the General’s daughter. “Which one is emperor Geta’s?” The guard that protected his room looked you over before opening the bedroom door. “I will be quick.” You mutter, slipping inside.

Geta had not noticed you were inside of his bedroom, instead, all his attention elsewhere. He kneeled in front of his fireplace, blazing with orange and white flames. His hands open and facing the gods as he muttered a prayer. “…Gods, please…” he continued to mumble, and you stepped closer.

“They cannot hear you.” He jumped at the sound of your voice, drawing a dagger from his robe. “Oh, relax.” You pushed the sharp blade down.

“They cannot hear…” He repeated, “Stop that! They can.” He sighed, going back to his position of prayer.

“No, they cannot.” You giggled, lying next to him, you sat up on your hands. “You are a greedy and selfish emperor.” His eyes fell to your hands, your painted nails. “They will not grant a single wish.” You say, eating from his bowl of grapes on the table. “You do not agree?”

“I do not.” He said before continuing.

“Tsk, it is a shame that you are blinded, my emperor. You cannot pray to the same gods as men who eat bread from dirt roads. You cannot because you do not share the same ink, not the same robes.” You said with a laugh.

He tried his best to take deep exhale and be calm. He refuses to let you get to him. Not again! You may be divine but at a time like this, you were a divine distraction. “How did you get inside of here?” He asked, still holding his dagger. Dammit. He could not help but have conversation with you. You were impossible to ignore.

“The door.” You followed him with your eyes as he stood and poured himself a glass of wine. “You drink at a time like this?”

“It takes my mind off of things.” He replied matter-of-factly. He swallowed the wine in his cup in a single gulp.

“Oh, that is nice for you.” You said, tossing trinkets from his tables and drawers into the flames.

“Hey, stop that!” You looked into his eyes before pushing a silver blade into the fire. The fire erupted a bright green and deep red. “What is wrong with you?!” He moved you away from the fire. “Do not touch anything!”

“Do you know why I find you pathetic?”

“Please, I would rather not know.” He muttered, refilling his cup of wine.

You followed him to the cart of alcohol, “On a note, you might have a drinking problem.” The man rolled his eyes and tilted the second glass back. From his raised arm, the loose tie on his robe came undone, revealing his torso and exposed his hips. “I find you pathetic because I believe you are not fit to rule. However, you try so desperately to hold onto power. Honestly, it is rather brave.”

“You think I am brave?” He asked as you stood by his side.

“Is that the only thing you heard?” You asked, your eyes naturally fell to his hips. “You believe you are so…God sent, ordained. But you fail to humble yourself.” He held his head, another full cup in his hand as he walked to his bed. “You might hate me for saying so, but your brother is humbler than you. At least he is aware he is a man.”

He turned around and pointed at you, “Do not speak of my brother! And do not disrespect me! I am humble!”

“To what extent?”

“I am one with my people!”

“You are one with insanity if you believe that.” His nose flared in anger before he dropped his hand. The man chuckled.

“You…I could never grow angry with you.” He admitted defeat. “Please, spare me your analysis.” His nightwear stayed put around his lower hips. The trail of hair beneath his belly button and at the top of his crotch was rather distracting.

You reached for his torso and pushed the robe from blocking your view. “I figured you were too busy sitting on your backside…to look anything like this.” He looked away from you as your hands touched his firm abs. “What war are you planning to fight in, hm?”

“Do not patronize me…[Y/n].” You chuckled, your fingers traced down his chest, along his side and to his crotch. His breath caught in his throat at the familiar touch of your fingertips.

“Take off your crown.” You quietly spoke to him. Geta removed his crown, “To the floor.” The man tossed his crown onto the cold marble floor. He shut his eyes. There was no point in arguing with you, the back in forth was long expired. You have him already. Even if you chose to leave the bedroom, you knew he would follow you out. It had been weeks without you. But he had to maintain some form of control over his masculinity. “I need…to be alone.”

“Why?” You asked, removing the robe from off his shoulders and back.

“I need time to think. Do you understand privacy?” You tilted your head. He stood between you and the edge of his bed. He looked up at you, his shy brown eyes looked in yours. “Listen, I have a lot on my mind and sometimes it feels as if…you just want to humiliate me.” You nodded your head, removing the ties from your dress. He could still picture your figure as he closed his eyes. You took the cup from his hands once again. “My people are…they do not love-”

You helped him onto the bed, your hand under his knee as you moved him to the middle of the bed. “Being loved is a fragile thing.” You said into his ear, your tongue traced down his neck to his Adams apple. As you left marks along his neck, he writhed and moaned beneath you.

“I- I, you are~”

“You do not know how long I will be here. Would you leave this to chance?” His eyelids fluttered closed under your weight and stimulation.

“…I want you.” His palm held onto the back of your hair, “I do.” He undid the rest of your dress, moving the cloth off your skin. He did not question your actions, nor your decision to lie in bed with him. There was no time as you undid his night clothes, stripping him nude beneath your fingertips. His fingertips tore into the layered sheer tulle; his teeth gently pressed on your shoulder, leaving an indent in your skin. His fingers sunk into the woven braids of your hair. “Please��take me.”

Suddenly, your father knocked upon the doors of the emperor’s bedroom. “Sir! I need to speak with you.” He huffed, sitting up on the sheets. You ran into the closet of the bedroom upon hearing your father’s voice.

“Come in!” He groaned. General Acacius and a few of his men came into the bedroom. He tossed a sheet over his crotch. “What?”

I plan to do one last part <3 Sorry for all the edging lol

Part one on my Master list!

follow & like pls

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maybetheyredrunk · 2 days ago

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tw: angst, self-harm, suicide attempts, death.

REGULUS BLACK

Regulus is heartbroken when James and Lily starts dating.

He doesn't realise why.

And then Remus is talking about Sirius, and saying similar things to what's in his head. "He makes me feel loved, and safe, and wanted. The way he laughs, the way he talks. That's why I love him." And that's when Regulus realises. Oh shit, maybe I love him. The way he smiles, the way he laughs, the way James is the sun to his sky.

James is oblivious for a while.

But then Lily realises she doesn't love James the way she feels like she should.

James and Lily break up, stay friends, and James realises he loves Regulus. The way he smiles, when James gets his attention, or he reads a book that he loves. The quietness. The way he bursts out with his opinions if he feels strongly about something. Regulus finally loving the person who he wants to, openly.

They go up to the Astronomy tower each Sunday, just talking. Each Sunday turns into twice a week. Twice a week into every other day. Every other day into every day. And they're so happy. And Sirius is all "You're dating my baby brother!" and "Brotherfucker." and "Ugh.", but inside he's so happy to see Regulus loving someone openly and fully. And Remus supports the both of them, and so does Peter, and Lily, and Dorcas, and Marlene.

Then Walburga and Orion make Regulus get the Dark Mark.

He's screaming, crying, begging them not to. "Please Mom, please Dad, I can't lose this." Throwing himself in front of them, trying to run away.

Him eventually realising: It doesn't work.

So he gets the Mark. Stays silent as the needle punctures his flesh over and over again.

And then runs to Hogwarts.

Regulus sobbing in the common room of Slytherin, arm swollen and bleeding as he tries to rip the ink out of his skin with his nails, held by an equally sad Evan and Barty.

Sobbing because he's going to lose his brother again, going to lose his friends, his boyfriend, because of ink that he didn't want.

Him trying to grab a knife, scissors. Evan and Barty have to restrain him and watch him constantly, making sure he doesn't carve out flesh from his bones.

So the Dark Mark is permanent.

And Regulus would rather see his boyfriend, the love of his life, not know him, rather than see James hate him for what he didn't want to become.

So he goes to the Astronomy tower after having ignored James for weeks. James didn't know why.

And he tells him. "I got the Mark." And shows him his arm.

And James' eyes widen.

And then - "Wait Reg-"

Regulus sobbing out one word, doubled over in pain, wishing he could go to James. One word.

"Obliviate."

And Regulus erases all of James' memories of him, he's powerful and precise enough to.

And James leaves the tower, confused as to why he went up there in the first place.

And Regulus is sobbing, tears running down his face, hair messed up, clutching at the railing of the tower, wishing he could get the mark away, would do anything. Anything to ease the pain.

He climbs onto the rail. Decides life isn't really worth living anymore, not without his sun. Evan and Barty see him, and run for him, and barely manage to catch him in time.

He makes three more attempts before realising he can't.

So he runs.

Runs so he doesn't have to see that James and Lily get back together, happy and oblivious. Lily's confused as to what happened to Regulus. Regulus who disappeared. Runs so he doesn't have to face Sirius, his disappointment and anger. Runs so Remus can't find him, his kind words and gentleness would make him unravel. Runs so none of his friends can follow. Barty and Evan search for a long time. But they never find him.

James is 18 when Regulus leaves. He's 17. Regulus dies the same year. Trying to make a difference. Regretting that he didn't earlier.

And as he lies on the cold hard ground of the island, Kreacher beside him, holding his stomach in pain from the liquid, but the Horcrux destroyed, he thinks. Of James. Of his smile. Of his laugh. Of his kisses. The way he lit up Regulus' world, because he was the sun to Regulus' sky, because Regulus needed James to be bright.

And he thinks. I'm sorry. He's left a note.

But he doesn't expect James to find it. Ever.

Regulus is 17 when he dies.

And he wishes that he had longer.

But even the brightest stars all fade.

thanks to @sweetmelodygraphics for the dividers!! Her work is amazing, please go check it out.

@into-the-jeggyverse @noblehouseofgay @my-castles-crumbling @reggie-the-starboy @ultravioletbrit @strawberrystainedfingertips7 @caiiius @iamgayforyourmom1510 @wh0re-for-w0lfstar

#dead gay wizards from the 70s #all the young dudes #regulus black #regulus deserved better #james x regulus #moonwater #platonic moonwater #jegulus #starchaser #sunseeker #wolfstar #marauders #angst #oneshot #jegulus microfic

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diaferia-dhades · 3 days ago

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Mischievous IV

Luke and Kieran, Ft. Sylus x MC

Warning: Fluff, no one's dying

Word Count: 1376

Preview: It's almost Christmas. MC dragged Luke and Kieran to do everything and everywhere. First to decorated Sylus' place with her to make it more "festive" then took them for Christmas shopping...

@liz9898

Three weeks before Christmas:

The doorbell dinged. Luke and Kieran looked up from the book they were reading in the living room, wondering who could be ringing the doorbell here of all places.

Boss? No, he owns this place.

MC? No, she co-owns the place. (Boss said so).

The twins looked at each other. "Do you think MC forgot the keys?" Luke asked his brother.

Kieran shook his head, "This mansion has face recognition. They'll open the door when they see MC."

Luke stood up from the sofa and walked toward the front door with Kieran followed closely. He looked into the screen next to the door that the security camera shows outdoors. There was no one outside.

Luke pulled a gun from his belt, giving a signal to this brother that there might be danger.

Suddenly, their phone rang. It was MC. Luke nodded to Kieran to answer the phone. Kieran walked behind a wall and whispered, "MC?"

"Kieran! A package just arrived! Could you bring it in for me?"

Kieran looked over to Luke and mouthed, "A package."

Luke checked the security camera again and found the corner of a brown box. He nodded and the twins sighed in relief.

"I thought we might be under attack," Luke laughed.

Kieran laughed with his brother and answered MC, "Yea, yea, we get your package."

"Open it and set it up, please!" MC said before cutting the line.

Luke opened the door and dragged a giant brown box into the house. "What could she get that could be this heavy!" Luke grunted.

Kieran shrugged, "She told us to set it up."

Luke cut open the box and inside is a tree. An Evergreen.

"It's fake." Kieran pointed out.

"Yea, whatever. Help me take this to the living room."

While Luke and Kieran were setting the tree in the corner of the living room. Ropes were holding in the tree.

"Should we cut it?" Kieran asked.

"Idk how else we could get rid of the rope." Luke grabbed a pair of scissors. "Let's get to work."

Luke cut the rope one by one while Kieran watched his brother.

"I don't understand why she would get a fake one. We could get a real one." Kieran said.

"Yea. It's not that expensive. She literally has Boss'- OOF"

Without warning, Luke was flung back. While he was cutting the rope, the weight of the branches flung out, hitting Luke.

Kieran laughed, "You got attacked by a tree!"

"Oh shut the fuck up." Luke groaned.

Then they heard the door open and a loud voice rang, "Oh, Christmas Tree! Oh, Christmas tree!"

Then MC ran to the living room carrying a box and beamed at the giant Christmas tree in the corner of the living room. "Oh my god, it's so beautiful!" She set the box down and opened the lid, revealing all sorts of decorations. "Help me put those ornaments on!"

It took them nearly an hour to put all the ornaments on. MC smiled wider and wider as the Christmas tree was decorated. Then she grabbed a star from the box. "Now we need to get the star on the very tip of the tree. How are we able to do that?"

Kieran huffed, "I got it!" He grabbed the star and walked further away from the tree. Then he turned around and bolted toward the tree. Then he jumped as he could. Onto the tree. Not only did he not jump high enough, he landed on the edge of the tree and fell, taking the tree with him.

MC rubbed her temple, "I don't see how that would work."

"The idea was better in my mind," Kieran groaned.

Two weeks before Christmas:

MC had asked the twins to decorate Sylus' office without Sylus' knowledge. So she dragged Sylus out for a date. She brought all the crafts and ornaments. "Decorate his office while we are out!"

The twins without supervision are practically a disaster about to happen.

“LUKE! HELP!” Kieran shouted.

“Help yourself! I’m busy!” Luke shouted back.

“It’s going to tear off my hair!” Kieran howled. “You don’t seem to be dying, help me!”

“I’m very much dying, thank you very much! Every man for themselves!”

“It’s every man fends for himself!”

“Same thing!”

“You said it wrong!”

“You know what? Fuck you, you’re on your own!” Luke barked.

“No! Help me! Help! Me!”

The screams and cries of the twins were heard from the outside.

MC and Sylus stare at the mansion. MC was sweating profusely while Sylus narrowed his eyes. He looked at the mansion and then at MC.

“Are you hiding something from me, kitten?”

MC nervously laughed, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Sylus smirked, “Hm, is that so. Shall we walk in and perhaps it might jog your memory of what you and the twins were planning?”

MC gulped, “H-how do you know?”

Sylus cocked his head to the side, “Sweetie, you seem to forget that I have several security cameras in the house. I can hear what you three are planning about. ”

“I’m blaming that pigeon.” MC scowled.

A sad caw was heard from above them. MC pointed at Mephisto, “You just don’t know how to keep your mouth shut!”

“Sweetie, must I remind you that Mephisto has no choice but to report back to me?”

MC narrowed her eyes, “Tell me, what has Mephisto reported about me? Huh?”

Sylus smirked, “A lot. Which one would you like to know? How about I tell you about the time when you brought a body pillow of me? Or the time when you walked around the mansion naked when none of us were at home? Or the time-“

MC immediately covered his mouth, her face red, “Enough! Enough! I get it! Please stop!”

Then another scream echoed. Sylus rubbed his temples and sighed.

And the couple walked into the house, preparing for a battle they were about to face.

MC and Sylus stare at the twins. Sylus looked mildly frustrated while MC looked so surprised her jaws nearly dropped to the ground.

Saying the office was a mess is an understatement. It was complete chaos. The Christmas lights were all tangled. Winter fir were scattered across the room. There were ripped gift wraps, staples, and tape everywhere. The twins are in the corner of the room, screaming at each other. One was holding a liquid super glue.

MC knew immediately what happened.

The twins' hair was covered in tape and their hands and clothes were glued.

MC felt her eyebrow twitch. She shouldn't have trusted the twins so easily.

One week before Christmas:

Luke, Kieran, and MC are out Christmas shopping. She dragged Luke and Kieran because she doesn’t know what to give to Sylus so she thought Luke and Kieran would know.

Who knew that the twins knew nothing either, despite working under him for years.

Luke shrugged and Kieran said a simple “IDK”.

MC sighed, “at this point, I’ll be giving Sylus air.”

Luke nodded enthusiastically, “This would be perfect. Boss would love anything you give him. If you put the air you breathe in a jar, he’d keep it.”

MC playfully slapped Luke on the back of the head, “Seriously?!”

Kieran exclaimed, “Oh heck yea. I bet that if you give him nothing for Christmas, he'll take you as his gift.”

MC rolled her eyes, "Whatever."

Then Luke gasped, "I know exactly what you should give boss!"

MC beamed, "Tell me!"

Luke pointed ahead. MC traced his line of sight and saw... the lingerie store. Her face immediately turned red. She turned around to tell the twins she was not going to buy one but they were gone.

Luke and Kieran went the the food court. They fist-bumped each other and sent a "You're welcome" message to their boss.

Christmas evening:

Luke and Kieran were in their room, music blasting as they played some card game. MC had given them a custom-made twin dagger, one for each. They were overjoyed.

When it was their boss' present, boss and MC went to his bedroom. Luke and Kieran already knew what they were going to do, so they had their music on max volume.

Their boss owes them one.

Thank you for reading! Happy Holidays to you all!

#luke and kieran #love and deepspace #love and deepspace sylus #lads sylus #sylus fic #sylus fluff #sylus #qin che

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importantstudentbusinessspy-blog · 3 days ago

Text

Spice & Secrets

Masterlist

Pairing: Constantine Corrino x (f)reader

Tags: NSFW, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn Romance, Betrayal of Duty vs. Love, Angst, Yearning, Power Dynamics, Politics, reader is a bene gesserit, first time,

This chapter takes place roughly throughout the first episode.

Prologue

You knew each other as children growing up in House Corrino. Back then, conversations of the Butlerian Jihad and the spice trade passed through your ears without a second thought. The three of you were playmates: Constantine, the emperor’s bastard son, his younger sister Ynez, the princess and heir to the throne, and you, the daughter of the household's headservants.

You and Constantine always sought each other. Your parents were well-respected by the Corrinos and established themeselves as head servants of the great House, allowing you to accompany the royal children in their studies.

Each time you heard a funny joke in school, you'd glance at him, eager to see his knowing smirk. Every time the two of you were caught being noisy, his golden eyes would find yours, laughing at your shared trouble.

In your younger years, you loved picking flowers for your mother, always dragging Constantine along to the gardens with you. It’s how you earned the nickname "Flower" from him.

In a way, he had always been your defender. One of the noble boys in the court, a brute named Colin would always victimize you. Whenever the kids played, you'd always say something strange and be the first to get picked on.

One day, Constantine had overheard one such jab coming from Colin and his friends. He stood in front of you, shielding you from them and staring them down, he said. "Leave her alone."

Collin was taken aback, forcing a laugh to make it look like all good fun. Since that day, the teases relented.

Your future seemed secure, bound to the service of House Corrino.

Until one day, an elderly Bene Gesserit named Ella recognized a curiosity in you. A skill that could be honed, refined, and weaponized.

One afternoon, while you were playing in the gardens, your mother pulled you aside. She spoke calmly, telling you not to be afraid. You followed her quietly as she led you through the palace halls. The next thing you knew, you found yourself alone in a dark room, staring at a woman whose face was hidden by robes. Confused, you turned, seeking your mother-

"Face me."

The command rang out through you, and without thinking, you obeyed, turning to face the old woman. Your heart raced in your chest.

"Kneel."

A cold command that your body obeyed without hesitation. Kneeling, you stared at the woman, fear coiling in your stomach.

With the calm tone of authority, she spoke. "Put your hand in the box."

She revealed a small, dark box, and as the room seemed to shrink around you, your mind screamed to pull away, but your body remained frozen.

An hour of excruciating pain later, you were escorted out, trembling. You’d survived the Gom Jabbar trial, but the experience had changed you, though you couldn’t understand how. The pain had been unbearable, but you’d managed to endure by thinking differently. It felt… strangely empowering.

That evening, Constantine noticed you seemed different.

"Where were you?" he asked, sitting across from you at the supper table.

You hesitated before telling him about the ordeal.

He looked horrified by thr time you finished your story. "Did you tell your mother she hurt you?"

"I think she knows," you replied, giving him a look that looked unsure.

"We should tell Father." His eyes flared with concern, his voice tightening.

You bit your lip, trying to calm the anxiety that was growing inside you.

“That woman hurt you!” His words were filled with disgust.

"I think she meant well," you said softly, but doubt twisted. "I don't know why, but I think it happened for a reason."

That night, after dinner, your mother pulled you aside once more. The Bene Gesserit had already made their decision, and you were sent away to the school on Wallach IX, tearing you from House Corrino and from Constantine.

Constantine was heartbroken. For an entire month, he kept asking about you.

"Wallach IX is in a nearby galaxy," he cried, clutching a map. "We can go rescue her!"

"She does not need rescuing," his mother, Francesca, soothed, brushing his hair gently. "She's studying to become a great woman. Who will protect herself. And you."

"But that woman hurt her!" He yelled at Francesca, his young eyes filled with hatred for the unknown woman who had taken you away.

"She’ll be fine," Francesca said calmly. "Trust me."

Despite her reassurances, Constantine couldn’t forget. Every day without you felt unbearable. His heart ached, and his mind raced with thoughts of you. He wished he wasn't a bastard.

He wished he were in line for the throne. Then, he would never let his loved ones be taken away from him. Then, he would be in control.

Meanwhile, you rebelled against your training. You refused to listen, deliberately failing your lessons, hoping they would send you back.

"You need to learn these things, child," mother Tula Harkonnen said after you cursed her out for commanding you to practice a basic mental defense tactic. "To protect yourself."

"I don’t want to protect myself." You crossed your arms stubbornly, refusing to meet her eyes.

Valya, the mother superior, watched you closely. Her gaze pierced you, reading every subtle movement.

"And what of protecting those you love?" she asked, voice steady. "What about him?"

The words hit you like a bolt.

"Young Constantine," Valya continued, her eyes never leaving yours. "The Emperor’s first born. The one you can’t stop thinking about. Dreaming about. The reason you want to return so badly. Do you care for his safety?"

The mention of his name made you worry. You could only blink. "Don’t touch him." You said steadily.

Valya and her sisters engaged a meaningful look before turning back to you.

"Then you must learn." Valya's voice softened, but her command remained clear. "Learn to protect him."

Years had passed, and you excelled at your studies. By the age of fifteen, you had become one of the best in your class. Your motivation stemmed from that day when Valya advised you to protect the ones you loved. To protect Constantine.

One morning, as you sat at the library with your sisters, an imperial delegation passed through the halls. You recognized the House Corrino sigil on the gards uniform immediately.

All motion slowed around you as the delegation walked by. You craned your neck to see behind the guards, trying to make out who was visiting.

You were met with the sight of a young man in imperial royal uniform, his curly brown hair falling over tanned skin. Familiar golden eyes flicked playfully toward the other girls in the room, who flushed and turned away.

Beside him stood a pale, thin girl, her brown hair mirroring his.

Your heart skipped. You didn’t even think before the words slipped from your lips. "Oh God. Princess. Your Highness!"

The delegation halted. The girl, Ynez, turned toward you, her eyes wide with recognition.

"God," She hurried forward, wrapping you in a tight embrace.

Before you could say anything, Valya’s sharp voice cut through the air. "After me, Princess."

Ynez pulled away, clearly annoyed. "This is my childhood playmate! I haven’t seen her in years-"

"We must make haste." Valya’s tone was imperious.

Ynez shot you one last glance before reluctantly following the mother superior.

"Flower," a familiar voice called softly from behind you.

Your heart raced as you turned.

"Constantine," you whispered, your voice breaking slightly.

He stood there, taller, sharper, his boyish charm now replaced with the beginnings of a handsome young man. But his golden eyes still carried the same pain.

"You look... changed." His eyes roamed over you in wonder. "Can we go somewhere private?" he asked, his eyes sweeping the room, offering a smile to the girls surrounding you.

Outwardly, you projected a demure smile, but inwardly, your pulse quickened. Your skin itched with the urge to touch him, to hold him close in a hug that could convey all the apologies and confessions you’d carried with you over the years.

"Yes, please come with me." You stood from the lunch table and led him away, hearing murmurs and whispers rise behind you as you walked.

Down an empty hall, you reached for his hand instinctively. His fingers interlaced with yours, and the contact sent a jolt of warmth through you, like sparks of electricity. You couldn’t help but squeeze his hand, a small giggle bubbling up inside you, threatening to escape.

Once in an empty classroom, Constantine told his guards to stay outside, then turned to face you. Before you could react, he pulled you into his arms. You hesitated only for a moment before wrapping your arms around him tightly. He towered over you, and you fit perfectly beneath him, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest against yours.

"I missed you," he whispered, his breath uneven, the words tumbling out in a soft, desperate rhythm. "I missed you, I missed you."

You swallowed the lump in your throat, pulling away just enough to look at him. His golden eyes were full of intensity, affection pouring from them as he gazed down at you, still holding you close.

Your hand lifted, brushing gently against his cheek, your fingers tracing his face. "You grew your teeth back," you said softly, a fond smile tugging at your lips as you remembered his funny smile when he was still losing his baby teeth.

A playful glint sparked in his eyes as his brow quirked. "You learned to clean up your boogers," he teased.

A laugh bubbled out of you, and your body shook against his chest. "I missed you, Costa."

He pulled back just enough to look at you more seriously, his eyes scanning you for any signs of distress, as if looking for the aftermath of the pain he knew you'd endured. "How have they been treating you?" he asked, his tone laced with concern.

"I'm alright," you reassured him, your voice steady. It was true enough. The training had been difficult at times, but now you were learning to control your emotions and nerves, just as all Bene Gesserit were trained to do. "Really, I'm doing very well."

His hand cupped your wrist, pulling your fingers back to his face, and he leaned into your touch. "I want you back home," he murmured, his voice soft yet heavy with something more. Something desperate, you could feel it in the way his breath hitched, how his grip on you tightened. The happiness in his voice mirrored your own. You wanted to go home too, more than anything.

Your chest tightened, a hollow ache in your stomach. You wanted to ask him everything. To tell him all the things you hadn’t shared in years. "I graduate in a couple of years," you said, swallowing against the tightness in your throat. "Then I’ll be assigned to a great house as a truthsayer."

"Can you choose where?" His voice was laced with hope, but also something darker. Possessive, perhaps.

No. You couldn’t choose. But they would assign you based on what they thought you were best suited for. The Mother Superior would decide.

You shook your head. "The Reverend Mother chooses for us."

Constantine’s jaw tightened, his frustration flickering. "I want you home," he repeated, this time with more force. The command in his voice sent a shiver down your spine. "By my side."

You felt the weight of his words press against you, pulling at your chest. "What happened, Costa?" you asked softly, trying to make sense of the change in him, hoping his response would give you some clarity.

He sighed deeply, and you could hear the weariness in the sound. "It's nothing," he said quickly, but there was an edge to his words. "Just... watching the world move on around me as I do all the work while my little sister is raised to inherit the throne."

Ah. His vulnerability stemmed from his illegitimacy. The realization came quickly, but before you could give it more thought, you caught yourself. You were thinking like a Bene Gesserit again, analyzing him clinically. You pushed the thought aside.

"Perhaps you should look at it differently," you suggested gently, meeting his gaze. "Enjoy the freedom that comes with your birthright."

He blinked, his golden eyes considering your words in silence. You could see the wheels turning in his mind, but you didn’t yet know the weight those thoughts would carry, how much they would shape his path in the years to come.

"But for now," you added with a smile, "someone needs to look out for your sister."

That seemed to break through his thoughts. Constantine smirked, that familiar, easygoing smile returning. "Just promise me one thing," he said, his voice light but serious.

You nodded, waiting for him to speak.

"Don’t value the Sisterhood above all else."

You froze. His words hung in the air, heavy with meaning. It was a request you weren’t sure you could fulfill. A promise you didn’t know if you could keep.

But you didn’t answer right away. You only gazed up at him, the weight of his words pressing against the boundaries of your heart.

You blinked at him.You could feel his presence in a way that was deeper than before, his warmth radiating into your chest. Your hand lingered on his cheek, your thumb tracing the contours of his face as if memorizing the feel of him.

You caught the crease of his forehead - worry lines.

Then youd picked up a hunch to his shoukders - a courtecy of spending lots of time writing, or reading, or strategizing.

There was a slight bulk to him and caluses on his palms - he's intensified his combat training.

"When did you become such a grown up?" You asked.

He broke into a chuckle. "I’ve missed that sharp wit most of all," he murmured, his voice breaking the silence.

A soft laugh escaped your lips. "I’ve missed you too, Costa. More than you know."

The sound of footsteps echoed from the hallway. Constantine stepped back, his hands reluctantly leaving your body. You couldn’t help the pang of disappointment in the absence of his touch.

"I should go," he said, his voice losing a bit of the warmth it had held just moments before. "They’ll be expecting me."

Chapter 1

Years had passed again. Your duties as a Bene Gesserit trainee had been demanding, but you fulfilled them with perfection.

At twenty-one, you were now a full-fledged Bene Gesserit sister.

Your transformation was striking. The soft, girlish features of your youth had been replaced with sharp, elegant lines. Hollowed cheeks and a refined jaw gave your face a mature look. Your movements were careful and deliberate. Each step, each turn of your head, is calculated to command attention. The art of cosmetics and aesthetic was second nature now, and your training in the weirding way had honed your body into a lithe, disciplined instrument.

You accompanied a delegation of Spacing Guild representatives to Seleusa Secundus. The great houses gathered hosted by House Corrino to celebrate the princesses' betrothal. The celebrations of the first night were in full swing.

The occasion called for blending in, and your attire reflected it. You wore a sleeveless black gown with a structured corset of shimmering silk, its golden threads weaving spice-inspired patterns down the bodice before cascading into skirts that swirled around your feet. A high slit revealed glimpses of toned legs as you walked. Your hair was braided and pinned like a halo, with loose tendrils framing your face. Gold-dusted shadows and dark liner enhanced the sharpness of your eyes, and your lips glistened with a subtle, golden sheen. Long gloves stretched past your elbows, completing the picture of poised sophistication.

Playing your role, you walked through the grand halls with hands folded and chin high, a display of both power and vulnerability, a subtle invitation to admire the curve of your neck and the gleam of your collarbones. Your half-lidded gaze swept the crowd, offering brief flickers of attention that hinted at intrigue.

The palace was just as you remembered—its Greek-inspired architecture and opulent displays of fountains, tapestries, and priceless artifacts all a testament to House Corrino's wealth and pride. You scanned the crowd, your eyes catching a glimpse of your mother speaking to a servant. A pang of familiarity struck, but you couldn’t approach her now. You had a mission to complete.

At your sister Lila's subtle hand gesture, you slipped away from the delegation, descending into the palace's lower levels. This was where secrets were whispered, and it was your job to listen.

The revelry below was a world apart from the formal elegance above. Young royals and aristocrats surrounded themselves with exotic animals, dancers, and indulgent laughter. Music filled the air, its rhythm almost intoxicating.

You spotted Princess Ynez first, entwined with a man whose face you didn’t recognize, one thing you knew for certain was that he was not her betrothed. The softness of her gaze and the closeness of their bodies spoke volumes. Your curiosity piqued, and you strained to catch fragments of their whispered exchange.

But then you heard a laugh familiar and full of mischief. Your sister Hera.

You turned, ready to ask what's so important that she left her post when your gaze followed hers.

Your composure slipped.

Constantine Corrino lounged on a golden bench, radiating effortlessly. He was surrounded by young nobles, some familiar and others new. Among them, Colin, his old training partner who had once tormented you, laughed loudly, a drink in hand.

Constantine commanded your attention. He had grown into a man who seemed sculpted by the gods themselves. His open shirt revealed a broad, muscled chest, and his powerful legs were clad in tailored trousers that accentuated his athletic frame. Gold adorned his hands and neck, catching the firelight and making him appear otherworldly.

He leaned back, his golden eyes fluttering closed as his head tipped against a pillow, his fingers randomly strumming the strings of a balliset. The sight of his tongue darting out to taste the lips of the girl on his lap sent a strange warmth through you. Her lack of wardrobe made her job obvious, but it was the slow, deliberate kiss they shared that held your gaze.

You pressed your thighs together, your breathing shallow. His hand moved to her waist, his fingers gripping her with an intimacy that made your cheeks burn.

Then you saw it.

A small pill balanced on her tongue as it dipped into his mouth.

Your eyes widened, and before you could think better of it, you stepped toward him.

"Your Highness!" Your voice cut through the revelry, louder than intended.

The couple broke apart, both sets of eyes turning to you. The surrounding nobles followed suit, their gazes heavy with expectation.

Recognition dawned in Constantine’s eyes, followed by a flicker of surprise and something deeper as his gaze roamed your figure.

You forced yourself to focus. "Your Highness, that woman wants to drug you. She's hiding a pill in her mouth."

The courtesan laughed. Then Constantine joined her, his voice deep and mocking.

"This would be the fourth time tonight," he drawled, his smile a sharp blade.

"You knew," you whispered, the realization hitting you like a blow.

"Of course." He smirked, leaning back lazily. I’m not as defenseless as you think."

He turned to Colin. "Do you remember little Y/N?"

Colin’s drunken grin widened as he took you in. "Holy shit, flower? Where have they been hiding you?"

You ignored him, offering a respectful bow to the emperor's bastard. "Forgive my interruption."

You turned to leave, but Constantine’s voice halted you.

"You’re not dismissed." His tone was sharp, commanding. You paused, turning back slowly to meet his gaze. The playful air around him had shifted into something heavier, darker.

The courtesan curled herself around him, trailing her lips along his neck as he stared you down.

"With all due respect, Your Highness, is there something you require of me?" Your voice was sweet, but the steel beneath it was unmistakable.

Constantine pushed the woman off his lap and rose, his height forcing you to tilt your chin to meet his eyes. He stepped closer, his presence overwhelming.

"Walk with me."

You swallowed hard. "As you wish."

You followed Constantine down the hall, your ears straining to catch snippets of conversation from the crowd you’d left behind. Each whisper and muttered word held the potential for valuable intel, and though you knew rumors would spread about this moment, you also knew Constantine’s reputation would absorb most of the shock. His scandals were too numerous to surprise anyone anymore.

A subtle hand gesture behind your back signaled to your sister, who was stationed across the room, that she shouldn’t follow. Whatever this was, you’d handle it alone.

The hall narrowed, the opulent sounds of revelry fading into muffled echoes. You’d barely taken a step into the darkened space when his hand circled your waist, pulling you abruptly against the cool stone wall. The unexpected movement forced a gasp from your lips.

Before you could react, his mouth was on yours.

The kiss was a confession—desperate, hungry, and unrelenting. His hands framed your face, his body pressing into yours as though he could anchor himself in your presence. Your training told you to push him away, but your heart betrayed you, your fingers finding their way to the nape of his neck.

For a moment, you let yourself burn in his fire.

But it couldn’t last.

"Constantine," you breathed, pulling back just enough to break the kiss. Your face ws flushed, and your thoughts were in disarray. "I’m working."

"I don’t care." he said, his voice thick with intoxication. His golden eyes searched yours, raw and unguarded. "You stopped writing to me. Why?"

Your lips parted, but the words caught in your throat. How could you explain? How could you even begin? You thought of the courtesan on his lap mere moments ago, her hands all over him, and jealousy flared hot in your chest. But before you could reply, his lips found yours again, more insistent this time.

"Who taught you how to kiss?" he murmured against your mouth, the question both curious and accusatory.

You hesitated, your silence more telling than any answer could be.

His voice darkened. "Was it one of your sisters?"

You didn’t respond, but the truth hung heavily between you. Bene Gesserit taught everything. How to seduce, to manipulate, to control. And intimacy was no exception.

His eyes narrowed, his gaze searching. "Are you a virgin?"

A shy shake of your head was your only answer.

His shoulders dropped, his breath hitching. "Your first time was supposed to be with me." The admission was low and hoarse, as though dragged from the depths of him by whatever drug coursed through his veins. His lips brushed your neck, and his hands slid down to your hips, pulling you impossibly closer. His body was a furnace, his heat searing through the fabric of your gown.

"I was supposed to show you pleasure," he whispered, his words half promise, half regret.

A soft moan escaped your lips despite yourself. "If… if you were, you’d be the first," you confessed, your voice barely above a whisper.

He froze, his gaze snapping to yours. "You mean… you’ve never?" His voice was filled with both disbelief and something far darker.

You shook your head again, a blush creeping up your neck.

The look in his eyes turned molten, a hunger you’d never seen before consuming his features. It made you shiver.

Slowly, he lowered his lips to your neck, kissing your throat. The sensation both tickeling and deliciously sensitive. His lips painted your neck with kisses. Instead of hunching lower to reach your collarbones, he picked you up, holding you above himself against the wall the two of you fitting like a puzzle. Your fingers curled around his locks as you whispered. "Dont leave marks."

He snorted. "There are women who'd consider it a privelige to have my 'marks' on them."

"You didnt offer me privilege." You whispered, as your hands glided over the ridges of his muscular back. "You offered me pleasure."

He snorted at that. "Oh its like that." Before his free hand lowered to the slit in your skirt, cupping your sex, and applying preassure on your clit. Your breath hitched and you grounded your hips against him. He obliged you with more pleasant strokes before releasing you back to stand on your feet. Before you could ask why, he kneeled in front of you, wasting no time and setting aside your skirt and tasting you. His tongue played a game. Circling your clit in slow moves before eagerly licking it woth more pressure. He did this again and again, occasionally dipping into your opening. You held your moans, suppressing them to a volume only the two of you could hear. "Costa, please-"

He moaned against you. The vibration sent a delicious shudder throughout your body. You felt the start of a warmth in the pit of your lower belly. Never recalling such a feeling before, you enjoyed the new sensation. "Costa... I... I feel -"

He silemced you without saying a word. His finger sliding into your core, brushing your nerves inside as his tongue continued its assault. You shook with the overwhelming sensation you'd read about so many times. Many emotions stormed within you. Disbelief, ecstasy, guilt.

That's when your vision went red. Burning. All you could feel was burning. A suffocating pain all over your skin. And a pair of blue eyes staring at you as you died.

"Y/n... Y/n!" A voice urgedn, anchoring you back to reality.

You blinked, you vision showing you a worried Constantine watching you. He cupped your face in his hands, his eyes searched yours, widened with worry.

"Flower, what's wrong? What just happened to you?" He asked, and for a moment, you saw the boy you once knew. Filled with honesty and love.

"It isn't safe here." You breathed, coming down from your vision. "Where are you guards, you must go to your room."

"What?" He asked in disbelief. "Are you fucking kidding me? What just happened to you? Was it one of those weird bene gesserit mind tricks?"

"I can't explain right now." You shook your head, running your hands over your dress, smoothing it. And cleaning up your hair. "I have to go."

"What? Back to your sisters? The ones drugging you and fucking up your mind?"

"Constantine-" You began, urging him to see the seriousness of the situation.

"No, go on." He waved you off, already walking out into the party. "You're going to do it anyway."

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